I mtled this novel. I rate it 3.5 stars.

Surprisingly the tag that should have been on this novel but is missing, is psychological. So allow me to provide warnings for potential readers to be aware of triggers for su*cide, self-harm, depression, s*xual ab*se (just once), and a litany of psychological symptoms that indicate at least emotional dysregulation. This novel was a painful read and while I applaud all the reviewers who gave it such high scores, I found myself really trying to understand why it had such a high rating... more>> and not really getting it in the end. The novel is literally made of 80% psychological trauma and the rest is romance, family, friendship and a smattering of politics. The world building was very weak to nonexistent relying basically on a collective acceptance of historical novel to carry through the story. The plot was really not much but just MC trying to overcome his past.

The synopsis is absolutely bunk. How I would word it is MC lived a miserable life as a courtier and encountered many tragic events before dying. MC upon death reverts back to his youth and finds the world is slightly different than he remembered it before. He has a lot of psychological trauma from his past life that leads him to constantly question his existence. When he meets the ML, he starts to fall for his pureness and takes the first steps to leave his traumatic past behind. However the past is not so easy to get rid of and throughout the novel, he'll spend all his time both running away and trying to face his problems with the support of ML.

Throughout the novel, MC's emotions jump up and down like a roller coaster. MC lived a miserable previous life and in the current life lives in an absolutely hedonistic way and not in terms of decadence, but in terms of utter disregard for almost everyone and everything except for ML, his second brother and his two other friends. Every action and thought echoes how emotionally traumatized and broken the MC is as he clings to the goodness in ML like clinging to driftwood while slowly drowning in an ocean. MC avoids dealing with his own health both physical and mental for the longest time while thinking just being around the ML will make all his problems go away and yeah that did not work well. The MC seems to act in certain ways to show his true self to the ML, but also constantly testing to see if ML is true to himself. He is one of the most psychologically damaged characters I've ever read in a novel and it's very realistically portrayed. MC seems to live life like a game of Hearts where he gathers all the worst cards to shoot for the moon. It's heart wrenching at times to read. At other times it feels like the author sat me in front of an asylum to see the crazy antics of one of its occupants. While he seems to act cute all the time, the reason behind it is logical at times and sad. He seems to go out and or take crazy actions but it's really an expression of overcompensation for past life. While some commenters read this positively, I can't help but see so many problems with his current life behaviour. Even up to the end, there's still a lot in him that needs help but no one is ever truly whole after humpty dumpty. The author must have been so tired of writing it since they time skipped a whole bunch at the end to not have to write the whole actual gradual recovery of the mind. That was both a relief and yet sad since it would have given this novel some true emotional depth and meaning to follow the journey in self healing.

ML is also broken in a different way. Their love is irrational yet a kind of desperate love of two people who need each other that it somehow works and is really messed up. ML doesn't seem to be as realistic and fully fleshed out as MC.

This novel was a very uncomfortable read because it was not what I was expecting from the synopsis and I really would have liked that warning before reading so I hope my review will provide some warning to readers. It was worth the read but I wish I had been forewarned about what I was getting into. Don't read this for the romance, it's there but honestly is merely sprinkles on top of the depression cake. If you think you might be triggered, take care reading this novel. Also if you don't like the MC's character within the first quarter of the novel, know that he's pretty much like that throughout most of it with rare moments of maturity so if you can't stand his character, I don't think you'll enjoy this novel cause it won't change much. Worth a read for those like myself who don't mind a unique and broken MC. <<less

Overall, it's a great story.

The biggest gripe I have with this story is that in the first few chapters, the MC spends too much time sick in bed and it rapidly becomes repetitive. Thankfully, the author skilfully weaves in plot points to keep things interesting, with the occasional scene from someone else's POV to show things the MC misses out on. So this is a very minor gripe and it goes away fast.

Another warning I'd give is that part of the 'Past Trauma' tag this story has is an attempted... more>> non-con which happened to the MC in his first life, and he ends up faced with the ab*ser in his second life. So if that's not something you want to read about, then you know. The ab*ser is not the male lead.

As for the male lead, he's my favourite aspect of this. He's one of those rare cases of an innocent ML. He's in line for the throne and yet quite gullible, often falling for traps from political competitors/enemies. He has a shrewd mind but is often not cautious enough and doesn't doubt people's intentions enough. This is very different from the typical ML which is one of those over-bearing OP CEOs/emperors/etc.

The MC comes to like the ML because of that innocence, as his first life was full of people backstabbing each other while they grasp for power. The ML is a rare breath of fresh air.

I also like another reversal on top of the innocent ML: The MC ends up being the saviour, often running to the ML's rescue, saving him from assassinations and traps meant to ruin the ML's reputation.

In typical novels it's the ML doing the saving, and yet in this case it's the MC protecting his ML without the ML realizing.

The MC is still a typical BL bottom who acts cute and likes being pampered, but he has a spine of steel and is willing to protect the ML just because the man was kind, before any love has begun taking root.

I really recommend this story. It's great so far. <<less

First time read the description, interesting. Then read the prologue, the saddest even already happen, but it's good TT.

The story is about a very pampered young master (MC), and mischievous but then the world changes and he is in the bottom. He is loyal and protects his friend by being a villain in front of everyone, gets trampled and all he gets is poisoned wine from his friend. MC knew he was going to get a bad ending but still did it anyway. And after all that tragic life ended... more>> in death, he was reborn and faced that life of pain again to find his own life and happiness.

The MC, even he is always look naughty and childish, but actually he is suffering from depression and traumatic. This MC make me love and hate him. His emotional is unstable. Sometimes cute, sometimes like a Bij. Just like me. You can't understand what girl want. And the ML, he's pure like a wolf pup. As long as you not provocate him, he is innocent boy. MC wake his wolf nature.

Spoiler

MC have a bad past life. He was harassed, slightly r*ped and slandered, had no one by his side and die in the hands of the person he was loyal to.

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The storyline is good. It's just.. I feel a little dizzy with the plot that goes back and forth, There are lots of flashbacks. The story is happy ending, not all sad, but not light either. There are sweet moments, sometimes funny, sometimes bitter, painful, all complete. <<less

This is one of my favorite rebirth stories, I often recall it and now I'm happy with the chance to read it translated, especially so well. I love it mostly because of the MC - he is really unique. I remember when I started reading it first - I was so intrigued with the first chapter (so many princes, so much happening!) and at the same time I was moved and very willing to figure out what was going on. The MC, Sui Yan, seemed to me cold, scheming and... more>> indifferent. Oh well, he turned out to be all that later; but at the same time he turned out to be cute, warm, self-sacrificing, shameless, funny, pampered, coquettish and very traumatized. You know those rebirth stories where the MC is reborn and needs, like, five minutes to restart his life happily? It's not the case there. Sui Yan's first life was very sad, not only because of his death and being betrayed by his friend, but also because he had to live a life that was absolutely not fitting to him. He loves enjoying life, being pampered, loves taking care of the people dear to him. Instead of it his first life was lonely and full of intrigues and hostility. All that really put a shadow on him after his rebirth. He is struggling with many things but the story is neither depressing nor hard to read - mainly because Sui Yan is such a fascinating personality. You won't be bored even for a moment with him.

His relationship with the ML are really cute. The ML is good - can't blame him for anything, he's exactly what the MC needs. There are also other interesting characters - Yuejian is such a good character, if there were a book about him, I'd gladly read it; also, the MC's elder brother. And the third prince who betrayed him in the first life - it was resolved very well about him. <<less

The beginning is very interesting and well written, it started on a very beautiful style of writing (cheers to the excellent translator-sama) . Looking forward to the new chapters, hopefully we also get more tags.

This one is truly a gem. The MC had a really really pitiful past life... maybe it didn't really look like it at first, but when the author start to peel it one by one on the next chapters, I can't help but feel heartache and fury for MC. MC is just a bear child who force to mature earlier cause of the situation. He became a villain for reason that.... I still feel fury when I write this preview, for MC. He is honestly just a bear child that... more>> enjoy pranks.... but he became a depressed and traumatic youth after his rebirth... I.... really want to hug him and tell him to just be happy because MC can't seems to really cry from his real feeling... every time MC is about to cry from his heart, there will be always something that stop it. And I feel frustate about it. But I'm glad that MC still can joke around and be happy with the people he comfortable with. So he can feel happy and not thinking about su*cide. Yes. His depression is that bad.

As for ML... I'm really really glad he is a gentleman. The way that not cold generator gong who just said few word and be super possessive about MC. I can understand why author describe him like that eventhough I feel frustate because of his action at first. But I'm glad I give him a chance before I trully hate him hahaha.

So yeah, I'll keep mtl and read this. I want to know how ML will be dealing his brothers with his 'gentleman' way to protect his throne. <<less

the beginning was kinda good even though his Death to me was so absurd, why did he work so hard to become cold-blooded for the sake of an unworthy person? Because till 40 chapters the writer not mentioned that he loves third prince and I think he has an absent-minded life. Like, what the hell are you doing all this for?? Absurd

then mc's brain is like a flood of water, whether the first or second life, easily tossed around, easily confused, people without principles. Basically, in my opinion MC is... more>> the type of human who wastes life, I think he doesn't have to be involved from the start, after all he's not a prince who has to bite each other. Just live happily ever after, idiots. <<less

MC has a pitiful past and his sickness does give us a heartache, but despite that he is one of the best Mc's i've ever seen!!

Must read if your looking for an MC (15yr old) who doesn't give a bullsh*t about others ╮ (╯∀╰) ╭ and is the best when it comes to keeping grudges and angering people to death o (￣︶￣) o!! The other kids around him also very funny, running around making trouble. Every chapter keeps us entertained one way or the other. There will be guaranteed laughter... more>> since we aren't the victims ! O（*≧▽≦）ツ┏━┓！ <<less

The plot was a bit complicated and deep psychological trauma was circling MC.

First chapter made me thought of the enemies as real bad but then after rebirth all things got untangled and clear then I started to see those enemies as not truly black but gray. They turned into villain for MC because circumstances, MC's own take of situation and his own decision of not saying anything and let thigns got misunderstood where things could not turn around anymore and misunderstanding turning into suspicion and hatred.

Some things I still dont... more>> understand, like how his 2nd brother not dead in this life eventhough the timing where MC rebirth it was alr late to save. <<less

Okay. Had to leave a review!

The tags are truly real to the story. If your just reading the synopsis, then you would think it was a quirky reborn slice of life kinda thing.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

... more>> It has comedic undertones but the overall story is very sad. Like... HELLA sad.

I cried bitter tears over some plot points.

The MC had such a horrendous previous life. And it's not slipped under the rug in favor of plot. That IS the plot. How the MC deals with the new life he was given despite the hardships he still remembers. He still goes through trials.

Spoiler

he suffers from tremendous PTSD, depression, su*cide, hallucinations, drug use, addiction and denial

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I just want to give this guy all of the hugs. He deserves that and more. His character arc is subtle but overall I like his goofy side, his serious side, and his precious side.

The ML is one of my all time favorites. He is sweet, caring, charismatic and just the purest thing on earth. Unlike most MLs this guy gets his own POV sometimes and they all center around MC and how to make him happy.

He never compromises on anything and does what's best during the current situation. I love how he blushes every time the MC does something romantic, it's so cute!

The ending:

Spoiler

The ML is devoted to the MC to the point where he disobey the emperor and 'comes out' with MC! And he makes him his empress!!

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The ML is hands down one of my favorite characters.

Side characters are abundant and also have their own stories. They are not one dimensional and have their own character arcs and love stories. It's amazing how the author can create such nuanced and flawed characters, especially the 3rd prince.

The story is overall fantastic. The political intrigue is easy to understand and mainly focuses on the MCs path to getting better. I'm sure that some plot points don't make sense and that I could analyze better, but I just got off reading it and can only say that this is worth your time.

Overall 5/5 for me <<less

This started strong, but mid-way fell into a weird mix of angst, froth, and wtf. Skimming became important as the narrative blundered its way to the end. I found the review written by hybridiris says everything I wanted to say, but probably, better.