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Jiang Huai has been a little dumber than others since he was a child, and is what others call a little fool.

This little fool was married to a s*umbag by his family in his previous life, and was tortured to death two years after marriage.

After living again and facing the option of marriage again, he chose "that person" who seemed okay.

On the first day of cohabitation, he regretted it.

2.

"That person" is in a high position and no one dares to offend him. What's worse is that he has a bad temper.

On the first day of living in that person's house, he broke the vase that person treasured.

That person watched coldly, "Good break, the vase is from 1982, do you want cash or Alipay?"

After living together for half a month, that person had a fever, and he unbuttoned that person's clothes without authorization to cool down.

That person looked at him coldly, "Why don't you take off your own clothes?"

Finally, half a year after the marriage... he saved enough money and wanted to divorce.

That person said nonchalantly: "Okay."

"If you dare to step out of this house, I will strangle the flowers and grass you raise tomorrow." <<less

I’m just an insignificant side character who transmigrated into a ridiculously over-the-top dog-blood novel. This novel is the ultimate collection of melodramatic tropes, and to drag it out, the author even included over ten couples! A whopping eight million words!... more>>

Some of the main pairings include:

• The Broken-Mirror-Reunion Couple: The protagonist gong and shou separate without a clear reason. The shou mistakenly believes the gong has a “white moonlight” (an unforgettable first love), leading to a ten-year separation.

• The Mutual-Unspoken-Crush-Turned-Enemies Couple: They misunderstand each other at a critical moment, turning from lovers into bitter rivals, tearing each other apart—sometimes literally.

• The Tragic-Masochist Shou & s*umbag CEO Gong Couple: The shou watches as the CEO cheats on him, then leaves in tears, secretly pregnant with the CEO’s child.

Meanwhile, I’m just a plain and ordinary side character. I hold all the plot knowledge (completely useless), and my daily routine consists of sipping tea and watching the drama unfold.

I’m:

• A classmate of the Broken-Mirror-Reunion Couple.

• A gofer assistant in the Enemies-to-Lovers Gone Wrong Couple.

• The messenger butler in the s*umbag CEO & Tragic Shou Couple.

My greatest wish? To leave this melodramatic world. (Folds hands in prayer.)

I thought I just needed to quietly make it through the eight-million-word plot and I’d be free. But one day, the world changed.

*

During the critical “broken mirror” moment, when Protagonist Gong 1 and Protagonist Shou 1 bid farewell at the airport—one heading toward the departure gate, the other toward the exit—

I sipped my bubble tea, putting on a facade of helplessness and sorrow.

[So what if your family went bankrupt and sent you abroad to escape? Why can’t you just say it outright? Is this white moonlight substitute play really necessary?]

Gong 1 & Shou 1: …Who’s talking?

During the Mutual-Unspoken-Crush-Turned-Enemies moment, just as Protagonist Shou 2 was about to pull the trigger in a final standoff—

I, the gofer assistant, had one earbud in, listening to music, my expression solemn and composed.

[Oh, come on, Gong 2 really didn’t do it. He got set up. And all because of his s*upid pride! Why can’t he just admit it? Men and their ego—always harder than their d—]

Shou 2’s gun nearly misfired: Huh?

Gong 2, horrified: Huh?!

When the s*umbag CEO was gloating and dropping his trademark hurtful lines, while the Tragic Shou was heartbroken—

I, the messenger butler, kept a straight face, but internally, my thoughts were a raging sea.

[Keep insulting him. The more you curse, the faster he’ll run.]

[Wait… does this s*umbag really think the shou still likes him? Where does he get this confidence? What kind of delusion makes him believe someone he insulted this much would stick around?]

[Man, s*umbags are just like horses—give them a little piss to drink, and they start prancing around like crazy. …Wait, they actually get a happy ending? Well, congrats, I guess.]

s*umbag CEO: …What the hell was that noise?

*

I thought my life would continue peacefully like this, but suddenly, all the protagonists started seeking me out.

• Shou 1 asked me about Gong 1 and his “white moonlight.”

• Shou 2 and Gong 2 wanted to know their rival faction’s next move.

• Even the s*umbag CEO started consulting me for advice?!

It was like they thought I was some all-knowing oracle.

And then things got even worse.

The final boss of this dog-blood novel—the ultimate villain feared by all the protagonists—set his sights on me.

But he wasn’t here to kill me.

He seemed… mentally unwell.

*

The nth time he blocked my way, he cornered me and demanded, “Where are the boundaries of this world?”

At that moment, I realized—he might have discovered my secret.

Still, I remained calm. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Internally: [OH MY GOD WHY DOES HE KNOW?!]

The villain narrowed his eyes, resting his hand on my neck. “I have a short temper.”

[OH MY GOD HOW WOULD I KNOW?!]

My gaze drifted across his sharp features and strong, muscular arms.

I spaced out for a moment.

[…He’s actually kinda hot.]

The villain hesitated slightly.

Villain: ?

# CAN YOU PLEASE STOP ZONING OUT?

# IS THIS REALLY THE TIME FOR THAT THOUGHT?

A chatterbox, oblivious, deadpan shou × A tsundere, sharp-tongued, secretly smitten gong <<less