it's like, YEAH F"CK. I'M ALREADY IN LOVE WITH YOU BUT GIMME SOME TIME OKAY? MY FACE HURTS. Not to mention, you really have give kudos to the author for showing ML's emotional journey. Especially for someone like me who doesn't like being forced to do something, I really understood why the ML wanted to be stubborn and keep his distance.

"I'm your love, hate, desire, anger, and insanity."

that both MC and ML were a little selfish, a little dumb, and a little direspectful. And the granma/granpa that pushed for the engagement are to blame as well.

6/10. The initial angst was good and I was hoping it would be a wife chasing crematorium. But towards the later chapters, I realised that the MC and ML were both unlikeable, with the MC even more so. You forgot the promise you made and that caused resentment in the ml. You have no one to blame but yourself. You used pity to get the ml’s grandmother to arrange a mother between you and the ml, but you’ve never stopped to consider how the ML would feel with his life decisions being made for him, and him not getting any say in all of this. Honestly the ML had every right to be pissed

Grandma for forcing the marriage, knowing her grandson didn't want it and even using his brother as leverage to make him agree; MC for pushing for the engagement even after ML explicitly saying he didn't want it and breaking his promise of breaking up if it didn't work; ML for the way he isolated MC and took his love for granted, planning to slowly approach him again after leaving him "hanging in an emotional freezer" for a whole year, plus breaking his promise of being his family and treating him well.

Treating someone coldly, giving occasional tastes of sweetness, just to go back to treating them coldly is a commonly used form of emotional ab*se and manipulation.

MC: MC is... he was really in the wrong during the beginning of their relationship. He shouldnt have insisted on that engagement, because the whole "maybe the feelings will come later if I love him right" is such a wishful thinking that's just a recipe for heartbreak. I could say that he brought that heartbreak on himself. But that's what makes him interesting too. the way he yearns for love, and the wrong way he sought it, makes it so heartbreaking.

ML: ML is very human. He's a "s*um gong" when you look at how coldly he treated MC. But there's a part of me that can't help but feel like his actions are SOMEHOW understandable. Being forced to such a huge commitment when people around you don't event really take your feelings into consideration is something can really make you... cold? mad? but still, he really is in the wrong when he forced himself to look away from the already blossoming feelings he have for the MC. Like, it's already there, why stop it?? Because of pride?? He's so self contradictory. He said he wanted to wait a year but if the feelings came earlier, then what's the point of denying it? Besides, MC treated him very well. But yes, that's what made him human. The pride, selfishness, his indecisive mind that unfortunate brought demise to the person he liked.

I can even understand why he chose to delay his confession. The grandma really did him dirty.. Just because MC loved GJC, she decided the two must be engaged. And that this was the only way to take care of the MC. While he liked the MC as a friend, to expect feelings to develop just from being together is ridiculous. Even the MC never cared about his feelings.

The scene where Jiu Ci told grandma that his opinion and feelings never mattered from the very beginning, I felt really awful for him.

"I know that I’m loved and I know I deserve to be liked, but what about you? Do you know?”

“Do you know that you’re loved? Do you know that you deserve to be loved? Will you continue to move forward the next time you meet the person you like?”

“I hope you know.” Gu Jiuci said softly, “So I can’t do nothing and I won’t do nothing.”

"No one likes to pester someone with the possibility of being rejected continuously after being rejected. You used to be once and so I’m now. However, I need to make you feel the feeling that I owe you. I hope you know that you are loved by me and you are worthy of being loved.”

“In this way, when you think about this relationship in the future, even if the ending is not good, you will know that ‘it’s not that I’m not good enough, so he doesn’t love me, but we’re too young and don’t consider it carefully. I love him too early, he loves me too late’. Just this and nothing more.”

However, it was always a good change. A change was still a change, right. He lived a new life. Originally, he just wanted to become a better version of himself.

From the beginning to end, he was like a passerby who had accidentally entered into someone else's theatre.

When Tang Ziyou needed him, he was Tang Ziyou's leading actor. Even if he was unwilling to play, he had to wear a costume and sing on stage without complaint.

And when Tang Ziyou didn't need it anymore, then he needed to be kicked out. Even if he had already predicted in his heart how to perform the remaining tracks, no one wanted to know.

Tang Ziyou sentenced him.

His grandma ruled him out.

The curtain fell, leaving him alone