Xie Kie had unintentionally hurt Zhiyu badly, infact causing his death. Finally Zhiyu had believed he was truly not loved by Xie Kie because of this scene. Rather when Zhiyu had done the same, Xie Kie had hardly stopped loving him even if his lover wanted him to die.

after the MC escape to Jiangnan and fight 2 powerful families and corrupt governor

I hated the ML, really want to pound him into paste and toss it to feed fishes

But I also cry because he sacrifice himself for MC, especially when Lord God explain, I cried like a dog, really

FZY’s growth from being super self-sacrificial and over-accommodating to the point of being taken advantage of; to being apathetic to the world (and likely depressed) and holding negative feelings (fear, anger, etc.) to XK; to finding purpose in life, and no longer being effected by XK/acceptance of his actions; to positive emotions towards XK (gratitude) ; and finally a healthy love with XK. XK’s growth from being the typical toxic Chinese ML that’s obsessed with the MC, wants to lock them up, and forces themselves on to the MC; to realizing just how selfish his “love” was and giving the MC autonomy and respect while still trying to help them behind the scenes; to losing his memory and having a purer relationship that is free of expectations (I actually loved this memory-loss thing because it showed that XK treated FZY so well even without reason— like he didn’t remember his past and feel like this is the only way to get FZY to love him, etc. XK just genuinely felt that FZY being by his side and happy was enough. He didn’t need FZY to like/love him or any physical relationship. XK was happy to love FZY without any expectation of a return in feeling, which I felt really hammered in his character growth.) ; to regaining his memory, dealing with his guilt and insecurities

it takes multiple lifetimes for the ML to get forgiveness from the MC which kind of makes sense especially if the MC was someone that disappointed in the ML

Very good setup and first half but suddenly! decades have passed, the writing turns into more or less a recounting of events and the main couple both die without the MC redeveloping much feeling for the ML. There's a very quick modern arc that has no relation in tone or emotional development to the first life, they die AGAIN and then they're reunited and in love and living happily ever after as the head of the system worlds...I'm sure MTL was to blame for some of my confusion with the later plot but I still think that the author is better at setting things up than she is at finishing them

also! the way he falls for xie ke can also be interpreted as him "paying back" 'cause he mentioned that he does not like owing people. so who can say that him deciding to "give in" and let himself fall for xie ke again wasnt to pay xie ke for the suffering he endured on his behalf.

poisoned, deposed and killed the MC and that is enough information. True. But, the ML is pitifully repentant and desperate to explain himself. He has also clearly rebooted the whole world for another chance with the MC. As a reader, this makes me sit back and think, 'Hey, there is something missing'. The MC dismisses all this as 'guilt' and asserts that the ML and some other characters are atoning for their own peace of mind.

doesn't justify the hurt he puts ML through. And I say this purely because I do not know what the ML puts him through. It's not detailed.

Shen Qiao treats Yan Wushi with polite indifference. Not with cruelty. Not with vengefulness. But pure indifference. And when I say this, I talk about the emotional aspect of their relationship. He cares about him as a human being because Shen Qiao is a good person and would care about anyone who needs care.

But no, he feels obtuse and cruel and goes as far as to do to the ML what the ML did to him. Except, The ML doesn't do it intentionally or does it without knowing the extent of his actions. But the MC does it to make him feel pain. Is this indifference? No. This is vengefulness under the guise of indifference.

and they shouldn’t have ended up together. They’ve both hurt each other beyond repair and I don’t think transmigrating into a modern world solves the past hurt. At least, the ML atoned. What about the MC?

I didn't comment on the ML much since I haven't reached too far into the story but I can tell it's not something that will improve later down the line so I promptly dropped it.

Am I the right person to speak on this? Probably not since I haven't read the whole thing, but believe me when I say I truly am frustrated to the point that I have put out such a bad review. You can argue that it makes sense because of this and that, but I'd beg to differ.

This next paragraph is my entire thought process as I read through the story. For some reason, I just couldn't get it out of my mind -

Everything is just a set of data, it doesn't matter anymore? Then why do you care about this rebirth, your mother, the royal family, ML, any of it? So you feel nothing for ML, huh. Okay, well, you have seen all those actors in their worlds and have any of them ever "rebooted" the world? Of course not, that's why even "Lord God" was shocked! Why are you not wondering why he did it? Ah right, my apologies, you simply do not care about him anymore, is that right? Well, doesn't that conveniently excuse you from never letting him explain himself and any of his previous actions (you know, like a reasonable adult with an in-depth understanding of the 'system' would) ? This type of selective indifference makes his character inconsistent and just overall nonsensical.

The overwhelming sense of dread I get throughout the entire novel is more of a "Why am I even reading this? Is there something about these characters that I like?", rather than "What the hell?! This ML is a jerk, let's see how he redeems himself!". The reason for this is mainly because of the MC. He is, in every sense of the word, lacking. Unpopular opinion but I genuinely would prefer reading in ML's perspective more because it at least wouldn't be as dreary as MC's.

The biggest problem I have with this novel is its rather paradoxical concept.

For a moment, try to imagine a setting without ML in the rebirth entirely. Now, what exactly do we have here? Putting it succinctly, we get a protagonist with a lame motive with no strong plot/setting to back it up, bland characters, and chapters that are disappointingly less entertaining than fillers in slice of life anime. Sure, it may not be fair to say that when it's literally a slow-burn BL novel. But, this story is written in a way that it makes it seem as though it wants MC to be strong and independent of ML.

Yet, what's leftover in the end is a pile of lukewarm... stuff (?) once the ML is gone. Their 'love' already dissipated, there is no chemistry between their interactions, and there is very little satisfaction for the reader to get even when it is rebuilt.

To be honest, the way MC fell in love to this extent with ML in their first life didn't even make much sense to me. It felt more like the author wanting us to feel bad for poor MC who fell in love in first sight only to be betrayed. I understand what message the author is trying to convey, but it just (imo) lacks wayyy too much substance to work. However, I heard this is actually a common trope amongst this particular genre so maybe I'm judging this novel a bit unfairly. Nevertheless, it is very, very weird how it all started.

Apparently, they will do even more world-hopping and they have not even made up in the first world... amazing.