In general, the troupe of someone really talented quickly outclassing their mentor is one that I'm always wary of. I'm not saying it can't be done well, or that it's a turn off for me, it's way too common for that to be the case. I just always sympathize deeply with the character whose being basically told their entire confidence and self-image is founded on bullshit, and while it's not the other character's fault that this happens, I enjoy seeing that aspect of a relationship explored with respect.

In this novel, I think the author does really well at depicting the MC's reaction when he realizes the fast growth of the ML. It feels raw, it feels realistic. However, I don't think that, in the parts that I read at least, it was ever adequately resolved to the extent that a romantic relationship wouldn't feel uncomfortable to me. Like, putting myself in the MC's shoes for a second, the way I would spend every waking morning full of passive aggression towards my partner and actively having to fight that instinct, maybe along the way redirecting it towards self-hatred, is insane.

Because I enjoyed the protagonist so much, and because his suffering felt so honestly described, this dissonance was even stronger to me. The author did so well at making me cheer for the protagonist's health and happiness that I actively didn't want him to be with the ML, since it was hard for me to imagine that someone this depressed and mentally unstable would ever be happy with this other person. I hope this makes sense lmao, I'm sure this is a relationship dynamic that some people might not mind, but for me it just ain't it!

So, after some sh*t happens, the ML kinda like (understandably) ditches the protagonist, which sends little buddy spiraling for several different reasons that don't just relate to "noooo I had a crush how dare he disappear >: (" This is the section I'm talking about where I was just hoping that the MC would like have a bit of a character development, especially because guess the f*ck what the author introduces out of nowhere the perfect replacement ML! I'm checking the later chapters to refresh my memory and I'm pretty sure the guy I'm remembering is Jaehee. It's been a while since I've read this, and I feel like I remember him not being gay, but the author is god and had total control over his sexuality! And these two freak actually had chemistry too like wtffff

I think I stopped reading around the time that the ML returned to the plot, mostly since I understood that the way the story would continue to develop wasn't really in a way that I was particularly interested in.

The MC Sayun is forced by the system to commit crimes and villainous deeds everyday, like killing high-ranked Awakened, to act as the villain of the world. This is because Awakened are there to "save" the world from monsters, but Sayun has been chosen by the system to be the "villain", meaning that he is there to accelerate the world's destruction.

Sayun can't even die, since every time he dies, the system resurrects him into like a few hours/days? (I forgot) beforehand. Initially, he tried to resist the system's missions, which resulted in his death (from the mission failure penalty), so the system would revive him and force him to do stuff. Now, he's like completely numb to committing crimes and killing people and finishes the missions, since he knows resisting that way won't work.

(I know I wrote a lot about the missions, but the main focus of the story is on Sayun's and Han Geonjoo's relationship)

So for Sayun to free himself from the system, he needs to find and raise someone with either of 2 attributes (I forgot the names). Han Geonjoo has one of the 2 attributes, and Sayun finds him outside the Awakened Registration Center, where he's scanning ppl's info panels for one of the 2 attributes. Geonjoo was there because he was a new Awakened.

So he kidnaps him and brings him back to the Night Rats guild, where Sayun is the guildmaster. The Night Rats specialize in crime/information gathering/assassinations/etc.

Sayun treats Geonjoo better than others, since he's the key to helping Sayun escape the system, and Geonjoo notices and wonders why. Later, Sayun just says to think of it like he's in love with him to shut him down quickly when he brings it up.

I'm on chapter 46, around halfway through part 1 of the novel, and they've gone to, like, 2 gates so far: 1 C-rank gate and 1 S-rank gate. The pace might seem a little slow, but it doesn't feel like it, with their interactions.

Still inside the S-rank gate. Sayun is giving special (harsh) training to Geonjoo.

I haven't seen a moment where the protagonist has done a "bad" choice of actions that you think of in dramas yet. No "f*cking talk b*tch" thoughts in my head at all. He's doing the best he can given the information he's got. On the other hand, the ML acts like a f*cking brat. He is younger but he acts so wilfull. I thought he had a backstory or something but it's just blank even till this chapter 204. Because he doesn't have a story or a reason to be such a dunce, I can't empathize with him at all. Unlike the protagonist where all his development is shown and done.

Because it's partly theme and he's the ML, you can't escape this irksome guy. I'm not looking for all smooth developments here but it's really hard to read without being able to shout at this guy who said and made it clear in this chapter that he thinks "I don't care how hard it is for you to live, f*cking live hating me even b*tch" when he knows how hard it is. He doesn't even call it 'love' but 'selfishness' doing this much to someone else.

I'd feel so drain—actually I am very drained—if someone said that to me. He doesn't even acknowledge the current suffering and helping the protagonist through it and just say (to the effect of) "I don't care, you must live." If he wanted someone to live he could at least say "I want to you be happy" or "live happily" or something but he didn't. He even says he will stop any su*cide attempts by the protagonist.

That's to me crossing the line no one should ever cross. Denying someone the right to die however they choose (that implicates no one, aside from their own emotions which they should take care of it themselves) is the most egregious offense someone could do, and to me, that's both the system and this ML.

If you don't want someone to die just say it. Say you'll be sad. Say you want them to be happy. Help them be happy. Say to the protagonist you'll help him destroy the system if you promise to not look for ways to die.

Now that I got it out here I think I can continue reading somewhat. I'll let you know if it's worth the torture. Don't f*cking treat someone in your life like this. As someone with strong boundary skills, I can say they may not be dead, but you will be dead to them. If someone's being vulnerable enough to tell you all this and you answer with control and deprivation of autonomy and what reads like a curse? That's betrayal.

Sayun will meet a boy named Noah in the field dungeon. The boy has a lot of similarities to Sayun so Sayun is seeing himself in the boy. Which is further amplified by the boy also being the `true evil of mankind´ from the old world which is now a dungeon. Sayun kills Noah to put him to rest so that the boy does not have to go through the same sh*t he has. Geonjoo who grew attached knows nothing about their dilemma and thinks Sayun killed Noah out of his cold heart. This will be the point where Geonjoo seriously starts to plan an escape from Sayun. Later on when he does Sayun will be downgraded which leads him to loose the chase with Geonjoo. From here it will be a big down point which was very sad to read through (a lot and I mean A LOT of su*cides). Thankfully, the second key makes an entrance and things go up again! There will also be a short meetup with Geonjoo, but Sayun is dying so he won't know. So far I really love the story!!

BUT CAN I JSUT SAY HOW MUCH I LOVE JAEHEE??? He's older than the ML and MC (but he has much better chemistry because the he and the MC have similar experiences) JAEHEE I LOVE YOU!! If the MC and ML get together, its only because Jaehee softened the MC up. I mean as soon as he became a recurring character, the mc's condition improved. For once, he was listening to someone as an equal (someone also limited by the system who wants to save the world) technically these 2 should be opposites (Humanity's true evil versus The heavenly Good or whatever) but UGH they fit so well together. I mean using pet therapy on the MC through fenrir???? PEAK. Making him actually take breaks (FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HIS LIFE) ?? PEAK. I don't know I just feel like our MC has suffered sm without having to deal with a freshly 20 -something year olds angst and identity crisis. TAKE THE OLDER MATURE MAN FOR ONCE IN UR LIFE AUTHOR. IDC if jaehee is emotionally married to his fiance who died 3 years ago, let him and the MC work through their losses.