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Free Ren Yigu
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Web Novel (CN)
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Rating(4.5 / 5.0, 247 votes)
5    67% (165 votes)
4    22% (54 votes)
3    9% (22 votes)
2    2% (5 votes)
1    0% (1 votes)
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2017
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Status in Country of Origin. One entry per line
15 Chapters (Completed)
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Completely Translated
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Release Frequency
Every 116.5 Day(s)
Activity Stats
[Graph]
Weekly Rank: #2000
Monthly Rank: #2000
All Time Rank: #4771
Reading List
[Graph]
On 2540 Reading Lists
Monthly Rank: #9895
All Time Rank: #3879

Description

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I suspect that I’m crazy.

Crazy. Insane. Mad. However you want to put it. And I mean the type where there’s really something wrong with me, something uncontrollable and life-ruining and in my brain, in my blood, and not just that I’m a little weird or have an overdramatic, rash personality. I suspect I have schizophrenia, OCD, depression and other mental illnesses.

But there’s a gangster stutterbug that won’t even take mercy on a crazy person, oh my god. Where are his morals?

–—-

Ever since I first met Xue Yaozu at the karaoke parlour where I work part-time, I started seeing him all the time. This self-proclaimed ‘old classmate’ definitely has some hidden, nefarious motive up his sleeves!

Why else would he ask about my job, where I live, and even if he can help me??? Not to mention the fact that he keeps trying to assure me that he’s not a bad guy! Sus! So sus!!!! Red alarms blaring type of sus!!

Associated Names
One entry per line
烂漫的任一顾
Related Series
N/A
Recommendations
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I Think My Boyfriend is Sick (2)
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Heartbeat Document (1)
Recommendation Lists
  1. disability and mental illness
  2. Reading list
  3. Bedtime Snacks
  4. BL I've read and liked
  5. Danmei; has been read (2)

Latest Release

Date Group Release
02/14/21 Chrysanthemum Garden c15 (end)
02/12/21 Chrysanthemum Garden c14
02/11/21 Chrysanthemum Garden c13
02/08/21 Chrysanthemum Garden c12
02/05/21 Chrysanthemum Garden c11
01/29/21 Chrysanthemum Garden c10
01/24/21 Chrysanthemum Garden c9
01/16/21 Chrysanthemum Garden c7
01/08/21 Chrysanthemum Garden c6
01/01/21 Chrysanthemum Garden c5
12/25/20 Chrysanthemum Garden c4
12/24/20 Chrysanthemum Garden c3
12/23/20 Chrysanthemum Garden c2
12/21/20 Chrysanthemum Garden c1
Review
41 Reviews


SukaraSorrows999
SukaraSorrow
Dec 21, 2020
Status: Completed
I'm probably biased, since I'm the translator, but this is a really great story. I love love love love love! this author (and that her name can be a pun on your way). And while I love all her works, this one is my favourite.

The author does this type of genre/writing that I love, the comedic heartbreaker. If I had to give an example, it would be like some anime that start out funny and ridiculous (and stay funny), but then stab you in the heart every now and then.... more>> And after stabbing you, they then throw another hilarious scene at you and you're laughing through your tears now and wow. What a wild ride that was.

This author doesn't do too much dog blood angst though, a lot of it's to do with self hatred and low esteem, or other individual problems.

Hope I bring this story justice, and hope everyone enjoys it as much as I did!

And, people who can, you should check the raws out, as this and a few of her other novels are free! (unfortunately one of the other free ones about another stutterbug has been locked....)

P.S Comment and interact if you can, she's not one of the really 'huge' authors, though she has a fair following.

<<less
34 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Efu-sama
Efu-sama
Apr 13, 2021
Status: Completed
Oh Wow, This gotta be the best novel dealing with mental illness here!

Mental sickness can't go away in just a few chapters among 100 chapters. It is hard to brush it off either with just "finding true love". And this novel nailed it. It didn't beautify or romanticize a trauma or depression. It's not angst for the sake of angst. The knife in this novel came from how deep our understanding and how immersed are we in this story, told from the first perspective of MC.

It's scary, but it's realistic.... more>> Depressed people, most of them didn't look like they have a problem. Most of them didn't think they have a problem. Most of them realize they might have a problem but afraid they thought too much or exaggerating it too much. Most of them realize they have "freaky" thoughts and even understand those thought are wrong despite they didn't want to have those thoughts either. Most of them realize they might have some problem but are afraid to trouble others, or are afraid to be shunned out, or are afraid to be laughed at. Most of them are sceptical to seek help from others, didn't think others can help or actually truly willing to help them. Most of them despite having a mental problem they are also unwilling and afraid to die.... hence all of their feelings just piled up and suffocate them instead. Not all depressed or mentally sick people desire or willing to commit su*cide despite having such a thought... Some of them really wanted to live forth and cherish life.

I understand it, that's why I really can relate to MC's feelings, and felt scared because this story felt realistic, and the suffocation felt real from the piled up subconscious trauma MC had.

That's right. What many novels think about trauma is some kind of raping experience, kidnapping experience, domestic ab*se experience etc. But trauma didn't always come from those direct causes. The feeling of guilt, the feeling of fear, the paranoia can come from indirect causes.

For example, the MC here have a mother who is a mistress who caused a legal wife died of anger. Then, his mother also died of anger because of another mistress from her husband. This kind of happening didn't directly involve the MC, but it still can inflict a trauma. Having such a mother is a shame, but you can't help it because in the end she's your mother. You are ashamed, you are sorry for the dead of the legal wife and her young son, but you can't do anything. Neither can you chide your mother nor can you do anything to apologize. This kind of helplessness is suffocating and trauma inducing. And there are a lot of "indirect causes" that makes our MC here have trauma, mental sickness or depression in his life.

Able to deliver a good story, making the readers hover in between crying and laughing, didn't give an unnecessary angst, this novel is truly worth it.

I really love it! <<less
26 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
shuulys
shuulys
Mar 30, 2021
Status: Completed
i cried. So many times throughout everything

i kept thinking why would something like that happen to ryg but I can't seem to find an answer. He's great, kind and caring. But how did he end up like this. Just thinking about it makes me tear up. Then thinking about the ML knowing how the ryg from the past was, it must have been a blow to him. Like from the MLs pov, ryg was a cheerful person that loves to smile and laugh. But the next time he sees him,... more>> ryg became someone with paranoia and other illness. Just by thinking about it makes my heart hurt for ryg. Like I just want to wrap him up in soft cotton and place him in my pocket so he could be safe and free from all those people.

and all those internal dialogues of ryg is so heart wrenching. Can you imagine needing to live like this for the rest of your life because I can't. So honestly, I find ryg very strong. And it's also why I really like him as a character. Makes me just want to hug him, protect him and love him.

i am honestly not very satisfied with his brother. Like I feel that he love ryg but the way he treats him is really unacceptable. I felt so bad for ryg.

honestly speaking, I would have loved to read about ryg being cured after some time and him being with the ML after being cited as well as him reuniting with his 2 younger siblings. But it didn't happen so I'm quite disappointed.

*but nonetheless, it's a great novel* <<less
10 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
crops
crops
Feb 14, 2022
Status: Completed
I don't know man. I can see why people liked this, but also there's so much in here that I wasn't 100% on board with. Yigu's illness was by far the most interesting thing in here, maybe not that elaborated on, but you could easily recognize this was an actually ill person. In fact it was the romance that took away the enjoyment out of this. Maybe since it's such a short novel it makes sense for the romance to be so fast paced, but in such a story as... more>> this it's not a good look... at all. From the beginning the MC, who's severely mentally ill and very paranoid, has this guy he doesn't remember following him around and having people waiting at his house, and even after the love interest becomes aware of his illness... he just moves in with him. From then on, everything else just feels like a taking advantage of the situation type of relationship, and even the MC says at one point that he doubts it is okay for them to have gotten together this fast. The most this guy truly does asides from telling him to calm down is telling him to go see a doctor (which is good since nobody around the protagonist believes he's sick or wants him to get help)... but to me that's doing the bare minimum after contributing to his worries for a good chunk of chapters.

Spoiler

Not counting the instance where his random ass ex shows up for exactly one scene that's set up exactly like one of MC's paranoias to threaten him and almost give him a panic attack

[collapse]

I was almost relieved when the MC was on path to taking his life back on track, and it seemed like this'd end up with a "don't need a relationship I can get well and manage by my own" conclusion which would have been very freeing considering everything MC has had to endure...

Spoiler

But somehow this guy shows up again and tells a recovering on meds patient to date him again or else he'd kill himself? And it's told as a joke that he would do that more than once thereafter? Are you serious?

[collapse]

And somehow all of this is okay because we get three extras of how the guy fell in love with him in middle school?

There were also many instances of him telling the MC that he wanted to protect him (which thankfully MC called bullsh*t on), which is just... no. You don't "save" a mentally ill person, you HELP them get better.

Like I said, I can understand why many people liked it, I can see that maybe this is all due to the small amount of chapters, maybe I'm just a dumb idiot who doesn't understand the author or didn't get the point they were trying to make idk... but I don't understand how an author can portray this well the pain of this kind of illness while just butchering the end result with such a careless love plotline.

Also it kinda pisses me off that people dismiss Yigu as a reliable narrator... because sure he does spout a bunch of nonsensical bordering sh*t at times, but like he said himself, he's paranoid, not naive. And I found myself agreeing with a whole lot of stuff he questioned (not the clearly paranoid parts, mind you). <<less
7 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Zianthus
Zianthus
Feb 17, 2021
Status: Completed
It's a good short novel, and you could really feel the inner struggle of MC about his illness. Some scenes are very touching, while the other will make you laugh. You could also feel the care of ML to MC evwn though it is a bit awkward sometimes.
5 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
huaisangs.idk
huaisangs.id
Apr 02, 2022
Status: Completed
4.3/5

A very nice short novel, very enjoyable reading.

This story deals with serious issues, such as mental illness, in a very human way. The main character's illness isn't there for comedic effect, on the contrary, it is the main focus of the plot and the author does not cross boundaries. It's only 15 chapters so don't expect a highly detailed story but I feel like how short it is just contributes to its charm.

The story is told from the main character's point of view, using first person - almost as if... more>> it is Ren Yigu's diary. It's really interesting to see his behaviour and how he reacts to things - he's also really funny most of the time.

The ML is super charming and sweet, it's obvious how much he cares about Yigu and how much he's willing to do to help him. His stuttering is adorable, it adds to his charm.

Spoiler

I experienced shock right away on the first chapter, as I did not expect his sweet boyfriend and loving big brother to be lies. The portrayal of Yigu's condition was well done at times like these, when he himself was aware that some things were products of his imagination while being unable to escape such delusions. Another specific point was the time when he kept thinking Xu Yaozu was another halucination of his despite various proof he wasn't - it was a clear symptom of his mental illness.

[collapse]

Spoiler

My favorite part of the novel is definitely when we see a clear improvement in Ren Yigu's mental health. When he thinks about crossing that bridge as something that no one should fear, when in the beginning of the novel he was scared of stepping a foot outside his house. It is also pointed out how he had done it fearlessly in early teens, which really warmed my heart as that era of his life is considered by himself as his 'primetime' as a person.

[collapse]

I'm not usually a big fan of works where a mental illness is the main part of the plot, usually because it leaves my heart feeling heavy and sad. I'm much a bigger fan of happy fluffy stuff. I was interested in this novel due to its sinopsis and the short amount of chapters but the fact a mental illness was the main plot point had me thinking it over for a while before eventually deciding to give it a try. But oh. I loved it. I loved the way it was written. It's not overbearing, not heavy enough for me to be heartbroken, it just the right amount of bittersweet!! I'm gonna recommend this to everyone I see ahaha <<less
4 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
1Sami
1Sami
Aug 25, 2021
Status: c15
This is really sweet. I like the way the POV switches at the end especially. It gives a fresh idea of what happened and helps explain why the ML fell for the MC so quickly.
4 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Michelle-08
Michelle-08
Apr 29, 2022
Status: Completed
A very short heartwarming story, about a guy who's suffering from mental illness and a stutterer. It's poignant and yet so beautiful. I still see hope for our MC to live a normal life with the ML.

I am so in love with how the ML is so patient with the MC and he was trying his best to help him in different ways. The MC's inner thought breaks my heart, to the point I can't even laugh even once. His struggle is real, he knows that he's sick and trying... more>> his best to fight it. He's so loving to his siblings and good thing that the twins loves him so much as well.

I don't know anyone around me who's struggling from mental illness-or maybe I just didn't kow that they are, so this is new to me, so my heart hurts reading this one so much. It's so sad that he's a happy child and then this happens to him probably because of the trauma he experienced with his family.

I also love the extra chapters as well, it explains why the ML loves our MC although our MC totally forgot everything-well most of the things about the ML.

Overall, this is highly recommended but please be sure to read the tags and the trigger warning before reading. Enjoy!! <<less
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
JaniePup
JaniePup
Mar 20, 2022
Status: Completed
I absolutely love this author. Their books have such a raw quality to them that I haven't been able to find anywhere else. Usually I'm turned off by first person, but it becomes so immersive and really adds to the story in this case. The MC's crazy ramblings become your own and you feel just as confused as he always is.

The ending was great. I don't really care about it technically ending where it started, but it was incredibly satisfying to read a moment of subtle healing. If you know... more>> what I mean, you know what I mean ;D <<less
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Mochibite
Mochibite
Feb 19, 2021
Status: Completed
This is a very touching short story, highly recommend! I'm not an expert by any means but based on the story and more informed comments the author does a great job portraying mental illness through the MC Ren Yigu. He is a cinnamon roll and you will want to wrap him up and hug him because he deserves the world T_T. His self-awareness that he's ill and needs help yet is unable to take that first step just breaks your heart. Being trapped in your own mind is a scary... more>> thing. The story is written so that readers are seeing everything from his biased and unreliable POV, and this view also allows us to see how people with disorders such as paranoia and OCD may think. Topics are handled gently with sensitivity, and I really do believe the author does a better job portraying disorders compared to a lot of writers out there (not trying to diss anyone).

Story and character background are revealed in layers and no one is written as a purely "bad" character -- everyone has shades of gray and feel like real people. MC's family/life situation comes straight out of a dog blood drama, but his sarcasm and dry humor keeps everything grounded and ironic.

ML Xue Yaozu is also a cinnamon roll and it's heartwarming to see two genuinely good people help and find comfort in each other. ML has a stutter but it's not shamed and is simply a part of who he is. Ren Yigu's younger brother and sister are also so adorable and mature shout out to them <3. The writing is quite nice and there are many poetic and quotable lines throughout the novel that just tug your heartstrings. Some of the lines put into words the hidden emotions of thoughts and dialogue.

Spoiler

It's heartbreaking to read in later chapters of Ren Yigu's descent especially when you find out how much of a ray of sunshine he was. It's just as heartwarming, however, when you see how good of a person he is and how much of an impact he had on Xue Yaozu. Sometimes one person can make all the difference *sniffles

[collapse]

Thank you Your唯 for this amazing short story and some truly beautiful writing. Thank you thank you Rinrin for your wonderful translation! Your notes were so helpful and some of your comments were so sweet and funny :) <<less
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
nctzen
nctzen
Feb 14, 2021
Status: Completed
I actually like this story a lot. I like how they portrayed how the MC feels and how hard it is to become better. NGL some novels have the character become better from mental health issues in only a few chapters like tf?? So I really appreciate how the author portrayed how they slowly change. It's only a short read so I think you should rea;;y try and read this.
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
kellinaimuetz
kellinaimuet
Feb 08, 2021
Status: c1
perhaps, this judgment is too much. But it's a touching story. I like stories full of anxiety but in bright shades without any despair. I want to know the world has a sad story but at the same time the world is still trying to rotate. Good story. Actually I was sick with stories of the president who was ruling and arrogant. I like seme in this story. Seme knows how to love. Forgive my bad language
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Redle
Redle
Jul 26, 2024
Status: Completed
I agree with most of the reviews here, it's a very good novel worth reading. My hear aches for the MC, I'm glad at least the ML got into his life, this story shows how mental health is so important but also so frail. It's short but I think it deals with mental health very properly for his length.

I also liked how the narrative style showcased the quick, messy and even polarizing thoughts of the MC. The storytelling also was part of the story and gave the novel the same... more>> rushed and chaotic feeling the protagonist was experiencing.

I'd have liked to know more of how the MC, ML and the twins are doing in the future, but that's more of a personal wish. I think the ending was fitting and gave enough closure for everybody. <<less
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
chocmik
chocmik
Jul 15, 2024
Status: Completed
A simple story about wanting to be better for the people you love. Go into this with the mindset of a story about mental health that explores supportive (romantic/friendly) relationships. This is not a romance focused novel. Even if this isn’t your cup of tea, it’s really quick and I think worth giving a read. The extras are also quite sweet.
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
meatbunluver
meatbunluver
Jan 10, 2024
Status: Completed
This story can be a little hard to follow because it's in the MC's POV who's genuinely mentally ill. Once you get used to it (possibly by rereading because it's so short), it's a genuinely heartwarming and good story. I liked that there were signs of healing, but this is a truly ill person who needs help and the novel tackles this spectacularly and makes you think.

The relationship between the MC and ML is also both bittersweet and aww-inducing. If you have some time and want to read something both... more>> heavy and light, definitely recommend reading this at least once. <<less
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Talrice
Talrice
Sep 24, 2023
Status: Completed
I found this novel to be very bittersweet and unique in the way it relies so heavily on an unreliable narrator. Overall, I enjoyed it but did feel like I needed a happy palate cleanser afterward. I recommend it, but I probably won't reread it because it deals with some issues such as mental illness in a fairly realistic way.
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
neuxxx
neuxxx
Apr 24, 2022
Status: Completed
It was relatable and heartwarming at the same time. I guess moral of the story was that you can’t be cured magically if you only believe you’ll get cured and do nothing about it so get help.
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Smtha
Smtha
Apr 01, 2022
Status: Completed
Really a heartbreaking and funny read. Am glad MC find the courage to live and love and someone to to support each other. Good insightful read. Stay well everyone. Thank you
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Fisukisuki
Fisukisuki
Mar 06, 2022
Status: Completed
Giving it 4 stars for the main story, but the Extras makes me give a Complete 5 Stars because ML is too Good!!!

This story is Funny, and of course makes you feels and think... but surprisingly have LOTS of Realistic Aspect. ... more>>
Spoiler

the Not evil but cold older brother. The good friend who don't trust doctor to solve depression with medicine. Having mental illness and depression doesn't necessary mean always lead to su*cide as much we like question why we life. ETC.

[collapse]

MC is good... But he does need help.

Now I can't help but read the title in depressing way...

Oh, but the story is NOT Angst!!! And I enjoyed it! <<less
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
fakeluff
fakeluff
Feb 03, 2022
Status: Completed
Such a well done little novella. The author manages to pack a lot of heart and tolerable pain while also inviting the reader to do a little work in constructing the ‘reality’ of the world of the story. Motivates me to practise a little more patience today with the people around us and myself.
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
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