Only one hand has a red string, doesn't it?

In the moment of freedom, he felt as though he embraced the entire world.

The world he so deeply loved.

He buried himself in a riot of colours, as if he had returned to the gentlest home in his dreams. Beneath the sunlight, a smile spread on his delicate face."

Another character show up (this is the one that I misunderstood as the ML). He's younger and the MC reject him saying he remind the MC for younger version of his partner and he can't waste another 10 years of the same relationship to repeat again (being cheated on).

I thought the turning point is when the MC have the courage to go out and work (MC and partner still together) but NO!. This is when MC meet one of his partner 'affair' but still no break up!. The partner feels insecure with his potential rival and request for MC to stop working and MC said OK. Stop working.

Instead of leaving his partner after he's sure his partner is cheated on him (this is not the same 'affair' as mention above), he let them be and only when they were caught in their bed (MC and partner) then he request for a break up.

MC goes MIA for 3 years and when he show up, the partner beg for them to be together. Typical 'you never know the real worth until you lose it'. But, MC refuse (at this point I am still excited reading this novel). Something matter happen and MC meet up with the rival (now a big shot CEO replacing his dad), rival request for MC to give them a try and MC said sure (but it was somehow sarcastically done in MC part. Totally no respect of the rival feeling).

Afterward, MC get a phone call saying that matter is resolved by his 10 years friend (the partner obviously). MC meet up with the rival and tell him to find someone who is worthy of his love (The MC does not worthy of his devotion and love at all) and call the partner for whatever.

The ML directly hurt the MC so much that he caused him to leave, then the ML dragged the MC back and the MC couldn't take it anymore and didn't want to exist anymore.

it would have been evil to let the MC to continue living after all he went through.

subconsciously test the ML with the baker, which was interesting to watch unfold. This happens right after the ML promises the MC that he would stop his cheating ways. It may seem like self-sabotage to some, but in the end, didn't the ML sleep with the baker and prove he really wasn't prepared to be committed? It was a smart move on the MC's part. He protected himself from falling for the ML again, and he was finally able to kill what minuscule amount of hope was in his heart for their relationship.

the ML makes a move on the MC and the MC refuses him, as he's in a bad spot mentally/emotionally, but the ML just says "stop acting pretentious". Holy shit. I was so angry I swear I saw stars. The MC, probably overwhelmed by the undeniable proof that the ML just doesn't care, that the ML values his s*xual relief over the MC's own sanity, stops resisting and just lays there. And it's noted in the end that the ML never realizes the MC never got hard in the pursuit of his own pleasure. How absolutely vile of him, and heartbreaking for the MC.

for the first time, the ML gives an arrogant monologue about how it's only fair for the MC to have his turn at experiencing other partners, seeming to acknowledge his cheating as an issue. But if I'm being honest, the only motive I got letting the MC go was that he was just too lazy to bother pursing the MC. This wasn't a "oh, he deserves better than a shitty partner like me" moment. If it was, I feel like the ML would have made a genuine apology, rather than sneering at the MC leaving.

sets up a "playdate" (odd choice of words but it definitely makes sense once you read the scene) between the baker and the MC. God, I was about to choke on the sheer audacity of the action. You think your husband would be happy talking to the guy you cheat on him with? Huh? And for the baker to go like "oh yeah he cheated on me but like trust me he only loves you, we only slept together once and he left immediately afterwards, you should forgive him".... if I were the MC, I would have stopped him mid rant to get a glass of water and shove the entire thing down his throat.

the girl who ran the bakery shop with the MC. It was heartbreaking to hear her recount the tales of the MC in "Australia", but I will say it was a fantastic way for the author to give us more knives. In the, you know, heart. Yeah :)

I'm glad that MC does leave the ML, but it's sad that he still can't forget the ML as they have too much history together and he was so depressed and tired of living for any happy ending to happen. This story would have ended with a HE if he could somehow walk out of his past, get healed with the help of the author, and be with the new ML, but unfortunately that isn't the case. Sadly, in most real life abusive relationships, the victims aren't able to do so, and it's already pretty good that MC was able to pack up and leave, and refuse to go back to the ML up till his last breath. For the MC, dying was the only way he could find peace, so I'm glad he didn't end up with the ML and managed to escape through death of his own choice in the end.

Perepare lots of tissue when reading this and a fluffly novel with lots of sweetness to read next!

From the brief flashbacks we see, Wen Qing used to happy, so in love, and so full of life and purpose, even if it was just to make Yan Han happy. Taking away that purpose leaves him a broken man, he can't bring himself to trust anyone and there's a hatred for the fact that he wasted 12 years with a man who couldn't be bothered with his needs in the slightest. I find it to be more realistic than many other novels that I read that have the ab*sed MC end up with the ML who always hurts them. Wen Qing loses a part of humanity when Yan Han betrays him like that, and its not something he can just move on from with empty promises or one and done kind gestures. Yan Han never changes from the selfish man who betrayed him the first time, and Wen Qing feels backed into a corner.

No one in his life really knows what to do to help him Yan Han certainly doesn't. And I think Wen Qing was right to be wary of Wen Bai in some capacity as he really did push himself onto Wen Qing despite knowing he had a boyfriend at the beginning (not even knowing the details of ML's cheating) and provides him the same deal as ML does that will ultimately make Wen Qing feel like he owes a debt to him. Wen Bai thinks his love for Wen Qing will fix him, but he doesn't realize that Wen Qing doesn't need more romantic love that has already scarred him, but a friend or someone who could get him help like therapy.

Back to Wen Qing, to have poured your heart and soul into anything, not just a relationship, for so many years only to have someone else grind your sincerity into the dust is heartbreaking. His numbness to the world is something was scared me the most about his attitude at the beginning and end of the novel. It reminds me of how well my friend was able to mask her own pain before taking her life. To be surrounded by people in the world and city, and to genuinely meet kind people like Han Wei but still feel so utterly lonely and trapped is a horrible fate. People ignore his feelings when he's numb, ignore his feelings when he's angry, and are oblivious to his pain when he tries to be happy. All of this pushes him over the edge. To know that to the person he loves the most he is at most a porcelain doll left to keep dust in a corner.

Its novels like these that make me reconsider my relationship with other people. How I treat them, make them feel, and I try to understand how I could try and reach out to them to make them feel different. This novel reminds me that moving on is at the crux of life, being unable to cope with past pain is only going to let that wound fester till its out of control.

To a certain reviewer who said that who says that the MC should have "sought help" and made the story interesting and that angst should just be temporary.

That's not how it works. Some stories will have people find the help they need, become better people, find a meaning in life, but that's not how some people's stories work. In fact in this novel I'd argue that for a short while Wen Qing is happy and does seek something better in the three years that he leaves Yan Han. But the man is a parasite who refuses to let him live on, and just plunges him back into his depression.

We start off classics like Shakespeare knowing the end won't be happy, that the couple won't get together, and that the tragedy will be permanent. But we still read those novels to understand how it happened and be able to gain lessons from it or understand other people better.

Calling this a glorified self-vent piece is also wild to me. The author showing MC's life as dark and unforgiving is just displaying what people have to go through on an everyday basis. Depression can feel inescapable and like a hole you can't leave and it just gets darker and darker. And even if this is a vent piece isn't looking down or mocking people for expressing those emotions the exact thing that can push people over the edge? Sure this piece might not have spoke to you, but to frame it as an objectively bad aspect of the novel comes across as a little insensitive.

Also can why can't we call novels that deal with tough subjects like su*cide beautiful? I think the author did a good job at portraying Wen Qing's worsening mental health and this novel brought out sadness in me I haven't felt in a while. Its ability to resonate with me is what makes it beautiful for me. Its not downplaying the severity of the subject, but rather picturing in a light that other people can come to terms with.

Yes, mastersh*t had only one goal in its existence and it's that you can k*ll yourself over love and it's fine and beautiful

There's no character in the story, the puppet known as MC has only one job and is to change its characteristics whenever the author needs a turn in their drive,....

the theme of the story is that MC was tired after a 12 years old love and had decided to end this tiring but beautiful (!) Love by dying at the edge of it... so tell me where is the love? Was love the moments ML decides he prefers MC's body odor and shape over his mistresses? Or was the love MC was mourning for, those flashbacks he had of himself destroying his career and social life like a heroic and elegant sacrifice for their love? No, wait, was Love that 0.0001 second where 2nd ML decided he loves MC knowing nothing about him and running this ever-lasting love without a source of power over 3 years?

The writing so amateur and organized, funny! Two grown ass men discussing about MC mentioning su*c*de to 2nd ML yet their ending result was that "I won't touch it, you don't touch it so it won't get shattered", like instead of getting some professional help, they decided by themselves that if they let him be alone for a while, so then he won't think about su*c*de ??..

Don't people get what's wrong with this novel? It has no story, no character, no pace, no logic, no sympathy, no romance... but such a dangerous message all over the novel : that su*c*de can be glorified