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Gaze at the Scenes of Debauchery
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Rating(4.3 / 5.0, 333 votes)
5    63% (210 votes)
4    18% (60 votes)
3    9% (30 votes)
2    4% (14 votes)
1    6% (19 votes)
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Complete (53 Chapters + Extras)
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Completely Translated
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Release Frequency
Every 168.5 Day(s)
Activity Stats
[Graph]
Weekly Rank: #478
Monthly Rank: #1610
All Time Rank: #2881
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On 3279 Reading Lists
Monthly Rank: #6303
All Time Rank: #2883

Description

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They’ve been entangled together for 12 years. A gong whose affairs had become second nature, and a shou who was depressed and liked to torment himself. Cracks cannot be mended, one can only intentionally choose to either ignore or endure it.

Associated Names
One entry per line
你看那灯红酒绿
Related Series
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Recommendations
The Decade of Deep Love (11)
Xia Niangniang (5)
Muted (4)
No One Saved Me (2)
Like Love But Not (PN) (1)
Their Long Night of Indulgence (1)
Recommendation Lists
  1. Skibidi 5
  2. love me a good chase, regret and repent you scums!
  3. Danmei I completed
  4. Incoming headache
  5. Books Ive Read

Latest Release

Date Group Release
11/27/18 Exiled Rebels Scanlations extras
10/01/18 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c50-53 (end)
09/23/18 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c47-49
09/16/18 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c43-46
09/05/18 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c38-42
08/31/18 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c34-37
08/23/18 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c32-33
08/17/18 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c29-30
08/13/18 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c25-28
08/08/18 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c21-24
08/04/18 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c18-20
07/30/18 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c14-17
07/26/18 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c11-13
07/21/18 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c7-10
07/17/18 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c4-6
12
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101 Reviews sorted by


hycave
hycave rated it
May 8, 2023
Status: Completed
It was so annoying that ML was finally able to be loyal only after MC left. I'm so glad MC doesn't simply forgive him and to be honest I totally get why MC decided to do what he did but there are many parts in this novel that makes me feel like huh why? Like ... more>>
Spoiler

why on earth MC decided to get back with ML towards the end and wtf does ML thinks it's a good idea to bring the person he cheated with to talk to MC,

[collapse]
it just doesn't make sense. Even when Wen Bai suddenly make a move on MC at the beginning feels a bit forced for me. So, if you asked me how was the novel, I would be like hmm, it was okay ig. I'd rate it 3.4 but I don't think I would re-read again in the future. <<less
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Camouflage
Camouflage rated it
September 25, 2022
Status: --
i love angst tags but this novel just doesn't seem well written to me and none of the characters are well defined here and the writing seems like forced angst for the mere purpose of arousing strong feelings in readers. There is no back story or character description of any of the characters and the only purpose behind their actions seem to be there to supplement the angst tag. The ML even till the end of the story is unable to decide whether he loves the MC or not as... more>> is mentioned in one of the last few chapters where ML thinks that he himself doesn't know whether he loved MC in last twelve years and MC seems immature although I am a bit sympathetic to him (not much sympathetic though) but he has been making wrong choices throughout the story so everything is his own decision at the end of the day. Honestly I am even unable to picturize MC as a real person because his character description is shallow and and the only purpose of his presence in this story is to suffer so I don't even want to describe the lacking in the plot as there is no well developed plot.i am giving it 3 stars because atleast this novel is worth writing a review for, that means it has the ability to leave some impression in your mind. <<less
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qucciael
qucciael
August 7, 2022
Status: Completed
I read it out of boredom, but then I finished it as a new person.

The novel is very realistic about love. It makes the concept of eternal love look a bit silly afterwards. It’s not like I now ‘hate love because of this novel’s realism’, but it is certain that my perspectives about love has changed.

It has made me cry a few times reading this. The novel is definitely worth reading.
1 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
rayraybites
rayraybites rated it
November 12, 2021
Status: Completed
I don't feel that this story is very unique and all like some of the reviewers here say. Just go to Archive of our Own and pick up any gay angst there. But well, a good story is still a good story ig, how truly 'unique' can anyone or anything be? Hence my rating.

It felt like all the characters were living in a dream. Partially because of how surreal the mix of characters seemed, partially because of the writing style and the author's choice of writing such short chapters, and... more>> maybe because I could deeply relate to the opening paragraph. It's not a happy ending. If anyone categorizes it as such, they probably don't know what that means. Please go watch some Disney. Even till the end, the ML didn't seem to believe the MC was a real person with real feelings, capable of any decisions for himself although the MC was described to have an extremely strong character. Though it seemed the MC always became weak only around the ML. The ML took their twelve years (these twelve years are quite significant to the story--you'll see this repeated many times) for granted but at the same time, gave them too much credit. In the beginning, it seems the MC wanted to believe these twelve years were not in vain and he could continue holding on just as he had throughout those twelve years. In the end, I guess he had to admit maybe he regretted it after all, and he had already wanted to abandon everything all those years ago, since the very beginning of the story.

Personally, I don't think the second ML genuinely loves the MC either. It was more like interest, then obsession because he couldn't get him, and finally, regret/feeling sorry for himself.

But well, what is love, really?

Honestly, all the characters were shitholes, aside from that waitress (the only female character and also the only straight person in the story) who worked for him.

Anyways, overall, it's a pretty decent book for people into angst and psychological dramas. And if anyone wants a lesson from the story, it's to be not like any of the characters written here. <<less
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Lara Night
Lara Night rated it
October 14, 2021
Status: Completed
first few chapters and I already cried. Reminded me of old things.

The things that MC thought of, wonder of, is the same as the one that I always wonder of. Why is it too hard for human to stay loyal for their love, is forever ever means forever? The writing is simple yet it stabbed me deep. Human could change, still they never change.. You know what I mean.
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Cham
Cham
September 21, 2021
Status: --
Love this. Love the pain. Love the angst. Another classic example of MCs falling for s*um ml, when another good ML is just beside.

Totally agree with Berlin’s review
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Lea168
Lea168 rated it
May 10, 2021
Status: Completed
3.0/5 rating

I read this story curious because of the high rating and reviews. However, I had a hard time to feel anything whilst reading up until the final 2 chapters. I was glad the story is really short.

I felt indifferent and somewhat numb. Maybe that feeling is also the feeling that the reader should have as that is how I interpreted MC's feelings throughout the story?

If it weren't for the final 2 chapters and the extras I would have rated this a 2/5, as the style that it was written... more>> in made it hard for me to feel anything for ML/MC or the side character.

The final chapters and extras made me (finally) grab a tissue. <<less
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Ronit
Ronit rated it
May 3, 2021
Status: Completed
I usually don't comment but this novel made me do it although it didn't made me cry as much as I cried reading Repentance but I felt the heart ache I felt sorry for Wen Qing I hate su*cide but here I can't blame him I couldn't find myself to blame him.. and it is selfish but I wanted Wen Bian to love him forever I wanted someone to remember him forever....

I really don't like Tragedy novel yet I torture myself reading it..
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BeneathAHibiscusCanopysWarmth
BeneathAHibiscusCanopysWarmth rated it
December 28, 2020
Status: Completed
To be honest, the only emotions I felt while reading this were numbness coupled with faint sparks of melancholy.

An atmosphere of unfeeling tranquility permeates this novel's relatively short entirety. It's as if, like the MC, we the Readers are also exhausted with everything, and therefore like him we view all the events through the lense of someone who does care about and feels what happens, but also someone who has grown too tired to really worry about anything.

For all the sorrow this story contains, peace is the feeling it leaves... more>> us Readers with.

So many reviews described this book as beautifully written, and I have to say I agree with them.

Unlike other stories with plots similar to this where the main purpose is to give the Reader a sense of catharsis as the s*um gong grovels while kneeling in front of the pitiful, long-suffering shou, this one doesn't.

I can't really pinpoint what exactly the author aims to do, but what I do know is that while I do like indulging in the kind of stories I mentioned in the paragraph above (because hey, catharsis is f*cking sweet), what this book gave me is better than that.

It wasn't catharsis, it was closure.

I may not make sense to people who are reading this review, and I'm sorry about that 😅. I'm writing this with only pure emotion.

Read this, please. It's an incredibly beautiful work.

Spoiler

While I do feel for the Second Male Lead, I also understand why the MC didn't go with him. It was cynical and unfair to not give him a chance solely because he resembles the young ML and the MC thinks his love too will also eventually fade and be replaced by an endless string of affairs, but it must not be forgotten that the MC had spent 12 years with the ML and he owes the Second Male Lead nothing.

While courtesy is something that should be given to all, and it is something that the MC gave the Second Male Lead, feelings are another matter. Just because the Second Male Lead loved him doesn't mean he has to love the Second Male Lead back.

It's debatable if MC really felt some romantic sentiment for him or if he only got closer because he saw the younger ML he loved so much in him, but what is sure is that that feeling was not enough for him to wade through the ocean of his woes to be with the Second Male Lead, and it's not like he should have forced himself to do so.

[collapse]

Why did I not give this five stars? I didn't really think the characters were fleshed out enough to feel like real human beings, but that doesn't mean they're completely two-dimensional.

This is a short novel, and it's only my pickiness that leads me to see the lack of character backstory as a problem, so by no means let it hinder you from enjoying or rating this with five stars. <<less
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Blubeagle
Blubeagle
December 7, 2020
Status: c3
Stories with mental and emotional health issues are never easy reads, and especially when one is a serial cheater.

The ending is a given. You expect it. You see it coming from miles away with florescent colored warning flags. You know that one is a selfish person and the other has become so caught up in his emotions that he has pretty much forgotten himself.

The ending--the true ending is fascinating. Make sure you read everything maybe even more than once because the information we're given in the extras says everything we,... more>> the readers, really need to know about their true feelings.

I promise you won't forget this for a long, long time afterwards.

Give it a go if you're an emotional masochist. <<less
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ChronoH0
ChronoH0 rated it
October 24, 2020
Status: --
This is a rather depressing piece since it also depicts depression and also it's a bad end well depend how you look at it.

... more>>
Spoiler

I feel like ML is a character that takes things for granted. He has everything and doesn't think to give back. Because of his overflowing confidence that it would go his way that he forgot that MC is human. For many years of accustomed to the ML behaviors MC became traumatized because at that point that's how he knew how the ML would react or respond. But at the same time he's not an esper. Becoming so tired of it he wants to be free from it. But being mentally exhausted he's rather end it all.

[collapse]

I guess I sympathize the ML and MC but really I can't put myself in their shoes.

Perhaps you could save this relationship but it would need not only counseling but also therapy. With only love you can't restore what's been damaged. <<less
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Cocole
Cocole rated it
September 17, 2020
Status: Completed
Emotional story. It is sad to say that there are people who feel so helpless and can’t see a way out of their situation. Unfortunately there is these types of suffering in life.

translation was great. 5/5 thank you
1 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
maelynn
maelynn rated it
August 31, 2020
Status: Completed
The story was ok but Wen Qing made me cryyyyyy. My poor baby. I’m glad that there were extras though
Spoiler

To see Yan and Wen Bai’s life afterwards

[collapse]
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puririnpa
puririnpa rated it
August 21, 2020
Status: Completed
This kind of novel always make me wonder what will happen if the 2nd ML reborn or transmigrated back to the past timeline before the MC and the main ML got together.

Our lovely MC's ending might be different, but it must be a lot better than when he got together with the main ML.

But this kind of ending is fine, too. At least he finally got what he want and deserve,

Spoiler

A freedom.

[collapse]
1 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
King of No Killing
King of No Killing rated it
August 20, 2020
Status: Completed
It's the middle of the night and I'm fckng crying and contemplating in life! Ha. I guess I'll be in my office later with red puffy eyes. I thought after reading the novel 10 Years Where I Loved You the Most I'm already very familiar with the flow of the story of GATSOD especially with all the angsts. Boiii, I was royally fcked. This was similar but very different from 10 Years. It depicted a tragedy that thousands and millions of people went through: getting drunk in love, continuing to... more>> walk that path to ruins, seeking freedom, and getting tangled with it all over again. Life.

I eally love this story and will remember it years after years. It really showed the ugly truth and beautiful side of life. The author's notes really chose the right words to cheer his/her readers. I started calming down when I learned that I shared the same thought as her/him. Happiness and sadness really depend on how you view things.

so~

You. Yes, you! I highly recommend this novel and am encouraging you to give it a try. 2-3 hrs or so won't hurt (well I can't promise that you won't cry though).

PS: When I was done crying after reader the extra chapters and returned here on the main page to leave a comment I stopped scrolling down and just stared at the cover photo of the novel. Ahhh. Fck. Another tissue box had been wasted. <<less
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AsTheNameDictates
AsTheNameDictates rated it
June 20, 2020
Status: Completed
I wasted my time reading this novel.

I don't like the MC nor the ML at all. Funny enough, I hate the MC more than the ML.

???
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bellek
bellek rated it
May 22, 2020
Status: Completed
An absolutely beautiful and tragic story. If you're looking for a tearjerking story, you've come to the right place. The author is an absolute genius. The way she describes the MC's emotions is so detailed and brimming with emotions, that I could even put myself in the MC's shoes. I honestly can't 100% love the MC because
Spoiler

he did nothing to stop the ML or fight to protect their relationship, he chose to cheat on the ML as revenge, created a misunderstanding that caused the ML to cheat again.

[collapse]
but the ML is still the ultimate s*um and harbringer. He's an absolute ahole. But that goes to show how good this story is... that it manages to evoke such strong emotions in its reader.

I still rate this story a 5/5. Please give it a go!!
1 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
olive_bl_garden
olive_bl_garden rated it
January 15, 2020
Status: Completed
Beautiful and tragic... the story is realistically written and now I just feel like dying. The MC needs help, okay. He is suffering from depression and succumbs to this unhealthy relationship of codependence with the ML because he feels like he already wasted more than a decade with the ML so he just have to keep enduring it but no...I just wished Wenbai would've care enough to realize that MC suffers from depression and finds him the right help. The ending was inevitable.
1 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Salt turtle
Salt turtle rated it
December 19, 2019
Status: Completed
I made an account just to write a review on this story. I went in the story in a happy mood trying to read some good bl and ignoring the tragedy tag because I am an idiot, I left in tears. It's because of this story that I got into angsty novels, I really love the characters. And I ugly cried from the beginning to the end.

It's really unfortunate how everything turned out and MC's fate. I'm still annoyed but at least our MC got a good ending (kind... more>> of) I honestly wouldn't want him to end up with both of the guys. Still, I feel bad for the second guy but the first one can absolutely suck it. He can die in regret forever (but honestly the last part made me feel kind of bad for him).

I 100% recommend this story if you want to cry and feel angry. It was a nice experience and the author is really good! <<less
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Dipu
Dipu rated it
February 15, 2019
Status: --
This one is a really very good story. l like the MC so much. He is strong and sensible but he loves the ML too much, which I don't like. I rarely find this kind of MC in BL novels. You'll understand how deep is love is as the story goes on. I don't like tragedy, but this one is an exception. The characters are very well written, I don't really understand the ML but MC and the other ML is just too good. The translator did a fantastic job,... more>> you can literally feel the depth of the story. You'll understand the helplessness that MC felt at times, you'll want to hug him and say everything will be alright. Even if you don't like tragedy, give this a chance.? <<less
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