The main story was emotional and angsty. I loved it but god do I wish that side couple never happened. It was incredibly messed up. Why did the son have to go through that? And the revolting interest of that random stranger in the bar - wanting tips - ugh. Wanted to throw up. The son just wanted affection and love from adults - platonic. He was betrayed in the worst way possible but couldn't let go because he had no one else. It's just so f*cking sad.

TW:

This story will make you want to bang your head against a wall. I've read a lot of stories from this author (which I adore btw!!) but even I wanted to bang my head at this one. It is as per usual; exceptionally written, as per her other works but I'm just emotionally a mess afterwards lol.

I feel so twisted reading this. At first, the manga is an already a good summation of the story, and I'd recommend checking that out first if you want an open ending. Not even HE but compared to the novel, might as well be a HE; and a well deserved one. Honestly. If you're going to read it; just read the manga it will do less to make you want to hate every single character in this, as it ends in the middle of the novel and is more hopeful and well concluding. The author is well known to make well constructed emotional torture p*rn, and this is definitely up there. The manga ending is open ended, sad and hopeful; like saudade and nostalgia. The novel ending is definitely the same sadness; just festering with a bitterness and a weird disjointed sense of hope for the last person standing left from the entire story.

(ENTIRE 3rd part of novel and ENDING RANT)

The story did what I think it wanted to spell out; the cyclical nature of infatuation and limerence will make you turn into a person who is unable to function. And that will have long standing consequences and intergenerational trauma as a consequence. I personally think it also shows how it regressed and limits your ability to be able to progress as a person, and I hope the MC's child one day gets a proper story to conclude his portion near the end of the novel as I felt there was definitely more that could be added there. The writing for this novel is painful, bittersweet, sometimes the characters were a bit over the top as per usual with this author but deeply and intrinsically selfish aside from the MC's child. I'd say it's cathartic to read when you want a lot of WTF moments; and a story that makes you feel VERY strong emotions that will not make you forget it for a long time. I'm still reeling from it now.