Summary: Jung Dayoung’s life has brought her nothing but pain and suffering. The product of an affair, her own mother does not acknowledge her existence. She lives like an insect: silent, hidden, and pathetic. One day, her mother announces that she is to remarry. Her new husband is none other than the father of Lee Kyuwol, the national swimming champion who brought honor to the nation when he won multiple gold medals at the Olympics. Although Kyuwol and Dayoung are the same age, they could not be more different.

As their... more>> lives are struck by tragedy, Dayoung realizes that there is a sinister darkness within the golden boy’s heart. However, instead of being repelled by it, she feels herself being drawn to him. She uses him and his body to bring relief to the overwhelming guilt and sadness plaguing her life, and he is more than willing to accommodate. In the dark world they have built together, with nothing but the moon to guide them, they drive each other down the path of madness.

Warning: PLEASE HEED THE TAGS BEFORE READING THIS NOVEL!

Review: Super duper dark. When I say this novel is dark, I mean this novel is DARK. I think out of all the books I’ve read so far, this one was the most uncomfortable to read in terms of the ab*se. There is just so much ab*se and darkness in this story. Not surprisingly, the FL is very depressed, and her thoughts go down a twisted path. Suffice to say, this novel is full of triggers. I would advise readers to continue with caution, and please, please, PLEASE seek help if you ever find yourself in a similar situation.

The ML is... interesting. I think the author did a lot of research when it came to this novel, and it definitely shows. Overall, I found this novel to be quite powerful. It’s a story about two damaged, twisted people who latch onto each other to survive their trauma. It feels different from any of the other novels written by Kimpa (I would argue that this is their darkest novel yet), but I found it to be an addicting read.

However, due to the various themes listed in the tags, reader discretion is advised. If you are not of age, this is NOT APPROPRIATE for you! Please do not read this if you are fainthearted. The ab*se is absolutely vile and incredibly disturbing. <<less

Rewriting this review after a rereading this once again. That's how much I loved it. I changed my opinions on a few things and wanted to correct those statements (felt a little embarrassed over it 😭). There will be some minor spoilers.

First off, I wanted to start by saying, the character writing in this is beautiful.

Dayoung, our female lead, was sexually ab*sed at the hands of her mother. Her response to trauma was so realistic it had my heartbreaking at points. But as a result, she has an aversion to men and a tendency to view herself as dirty when coming into contact with them. Not to mention the extremely poor luck she's had with men her life, previous parental figures, stalkers, and even the main lead at times. Her entire life, she's carried guilt and shame with her over things she can't control. Da young has pretty much spent her entire life alone, merely trying to fade into the background as not to bother others despite practically screaming inside for someome to notice and understand her. Hence, when the perceptive and confident Male lead walks into her life, she's immediately drawn to him.

The same goes for the male lead, Lee Kyuwol. Honestly, I'm not sure what caused him to catch interest in her. It just seems like he was drawn to her. Maybe it was instinctual? But anyways, Lee Kyuwol gave me sociopath vibes (maybe one shaped by surroundings, rather than genetic? Don't take my word for it though, im not a psychologist) I can't say I was as interested in him as we don't get a WHOLE lot of insight into his mind. He just seems to lack empathy and understanding of others emotions. Despite this, he does seem to truly love and care for her in his own way (after reading the extra's I became sure of this)

Most of all, I enjoyed their interactions and how vivid they were. Dayoung is clearly attracted to and dependant on Kyuwol. Yet she denies this because one - she is quite understandably scared of him and his sometimes violent behavior, and two - he knows her and her past. She believes that she is a sinner that she will be judged by him some day, whether that be for being her mother's daughter or for She's dependant on him but decided to ignore it, fearing the day where he will eventually get sick of her and leave. I especially liked the scene at the lake and how they wrapped everything up. I feel like writing down the conclusion here will make it lose its effect so please read it yourself with the build up. The dialogue hits hard after reading the conflicted thoughs of Dayoung the whole way through. Although Kyuwol is somewhat messed up, I feel like in a twisted way, he's Dayoung's match

Really enjoyed this story :).

Wow. I did not expect to like this novel so much. Our FL hasn't received much, if any, love in her life. Her response to her environment feels realistic; she has low self-esteem, she is always observing the people around her, and her priority is to avoid getting hurt, but that doesn't mean she's not lonely.

Our ML is very different. He is successful, does what he wants whenever he wants, and has a lot of confidence. I can imagine ML being an antagonist in a serious school kdrama. Like FL,... more>> his traits make sense based on his background, and he has a lot of his own darkness. Despite his huge red flags, he often seems to try looking after FL in his own way, although their relationship is definitely not sweet or healthy. Her mental health doesn't always come in first place for either of them, and FL has plenty of her own (self-admitted) issues.

The prologue really sets the mood from the beginning. The whole time, you feel a lot of tension even when nothing major is happening, just waiting for something to go wrong. It's a minefield of potential triggers. This is no blushy shoujo. I love a good messed up story though, so I had a hard time putting it down. I feel like I'll have to take a break from reading the novels here because most things will fall short after this.

A big thank you to the translation team for their top-tier work! They've done an incredible job, and it really helps the experience! <<less

Reading this as an extreme empath, you can guess how constricted my chest felt the entire time. But it was an amazing read, even though.... I've only read the first 8 chapters! Not that I don't want to read the rest! But where are the chapters?! 😭

DOES ANYONE HAVE THE REST OF THE CHAPTERS!!!?

My chest feels empty not knowing how it all ends. I'm too invested to leave this halfway! I refuse to!

I wish I could say a few words to describe my love for this. But I'm completely blank... more>> and no matter how much I write, it can never express the emotions I felt as I read this.

But I do have to say that I never, ever, expected that the male lead would turn out the way he was.

Though I read novels according to my intuition, regardless of the rating and reviews, I would always read the synopsis and reviews before I delve deeper into a story. And as I mentioned earlier, I am too sensitive and emotional to an extreme degree. So I would usually avoid such reads that have a heavy toll on my emotional and mental health. Heck, I even tend to avoid anything that has angst and drama. (Except for yandere novels, because though toxic as hell, there is hardly much angst, even if there were, the male lead would bulldoze through it)

I dived into this without a single clue about the theme, tags, or synopsis. But boy do I not regret.

One of my best reads. (Regardless of the emotional trauma) <<less

Every book I've read from this author has been amazing. This is my fourth, and somehow, each one keeps exceeding my expectations. The way she writes her male leads has me so obsessed. She has such a talent for crafting anti-heroes. Strong, commanding, and dominant, but never in an annoying way. The kind of villain who would burn the world to protect the one they love and they’d do it without hesitation.

This one is probably my favorite so far—a heavy, angsty read that hit me hard. The family drama especially... more>> got to me because it hit so close to home. I’m glad it ended the way it did; the side characters got exactly what they deserved. So satisfying. I just wish someone would rewrite the blurb on NU because it doesn’t do this book justice. You’d read it and think it’s just another tr*shy, smutty romance, but IT’S NOT. It’s a deep, emotional story that explores trauma, guilt, and the unhealthy, obsessive attachment that comes with it. Absolutely beautifully written.

Highly recommend. <<less

Looking at the reviews I believed I was going to see something so sinister and dark that maybe after completing the novel I feel it wasn't thaaaat dark?

And the simple reason is because the main couple in their own twisted way come to love each other in a pretty taboo way in the eyes of the society

While I understand how it can be triggering to many- the author hints at many dark terrifying things but thankfully (for our sake) doesn't go into the gory details.

The epilogue and extra make me... more>> feel like this was a normal love story but the main chapters make you think and try to grasp the thought process of the characters who are twisted in their own way.

The thought of being in a position of opposition to any person with a personality like the ML truly is something terrifying tho but at the same time in my f*cked up mind- it plays out well for him and his beloved/obsession (?)

The only gripe I have with the novel is that I can't seem to understand some of the nuances which might actually be my own dumbness <<less

Da young (FL), She has a fragile mentality, but not s*upid, she knows how to read people very well and does her best to survive in the environments where she lives.

Poor girl, her mother is shit, she ab*ses her every chance she gets, contributes to her already poor self-esteem and constantly judges her and attacks her psychologically, somehow seeing her as her rival and not her daughter.

His relationship with Lee Kyuwol is tempestuous and changing, it is not bad but it is not ideal either. I have to give the... more>> guy credit though... he treats her better than a lot of people, cares about her in his own way and is a constant encouragement so she isn't always an emotionless doll.

Lee Kyuwol (ML), He is a swimming prodigy, an Olympic medalist and a master of masks. He starts to take an interest in Dayoung, reaching out, touching her, constantly talking to her, standing next to Dayoung in the dark moments, he's not warm, but at least he's not completely shitty to her.

Kyuwol has an unquenchable thirst for Dayoung. He's like a yandere villain.

I'm not sure whether he's a psychopath or a sociopath, but there's something dark and disturbing about him.

His father is a pe*vert and a disgusting human being.

The death of both of their parents was the most important turning point in their history.

the s*x scenes between them are brain-melting 🫠

(Having witnessed my loss of humanity... Having noticed my descent into depravity... Lee Kyuwol took one step into my world).

((After witnessing my loss of humanity... After noticing my fall into depravity... Lee Kyuwol entered my world)) <<less