hate her

she's dead, that he's going to die

By author/translator

Madmen

He Yujin; Gao Fei. One was insane while she lived, while the other was forced to insanity as he lived.

Their love ended before it could begin. He Yujin will never know that, even without realising it, Gao Fei had already come to love her, and Gao Fei will never have the chance to tell her that, it turns out, his love for her was no less than hers for him.

He Yujin loved too much; Gao Fei loved too late.

And Gao Fei paid the price for his pride and stubbornness. He led a colourless life without her. He walked on the streets, looking at all the other couples, and felt like an outsider to the happiness others enjoyed. Even as he searched, even as his marriage crumbled, still, he did not find an excuse for him to say, it's over, to end his life, all because He Yujin wished for him to be happy

That moment, I ascended to the Heavens and became immortal, not for an eternal life, but to watch over you for a lifetime of peace and

happiness..

........

There is one kind of love

I love you, and this has nothing to do with you, but I love you.

There is another kind of love

I hate you, and I will never love you, but I will follow you in your death.

I really hated the ML when I read the FL POV and when

his POV started and he started to live his life and move on I was all like "Oh hell no!! ? he actually is moving on so easy WTH! He trully never Loved the MC P. S. especially when he wanted to have a baby with the new wife (it made cry after remember in how the MC wanted to give him a baby, well to tie him more to her (a bit cray cray) but then she discover she couldn't have kids that broke my heart ??

BUT then this

"Before He Yujin died, she said that she only wished for me to lead a peaceful and happy life, and I had lived my life carrying out her wishes.

I remarried; worked hard at work; did not think of her; did not seek death.

I tried my best to live in happiness –

But a traffic accident was not something within my control.

Nor could I have known that I would divorce, just as I could never have known that I would meet with a traffic accident.

So, when she met me once again, she could not blame me. She must not blame me.

Slowly, my tears began to fall. I saw He Yujin's face, the face which I had been waiting for several years. The Heavens knew how many times I yearned to reach out, using my five fingers to touch her face. Gently, just like a lover, caressing her face.

If I met her, no, I would definitely meet her, for I had done so much just to meet her –

We would cross paths in the skies, and within the endless clouds, I would say, 'Hi, He Yujin. I'm Gao Fei, let's be friends.'

Then, I would become her husband.

If she had already found a new relationship there, I would use every means possible to destroy her relationship and family to become her husband.

My story with He Yujin began to end here..... "]

I seriously came to hate and then loved both characters especially the ML, when you read his part you kind of get hints of how much he misses her and of how he started to go insane and even imagining the MC and they're past life & how maybe how they're life would of been. If only they had started their relationship in a different way or if they had talked it out aaah! But the if's or perhaps dont exit and if they had existed in this novel then this novel wouldn't of be as great as it is and the author did an amaizing job portraying such a heart wrenching and bitter sweet story of a love or better put, of lovers that miss their time to love....

I would also like to thank the translator she did an amazing job, translating this it was really really well written and the things she wrote on the last chapter where my exact sentiments of understanding of this story which was very tragic and its sad to read how they could of but they didn't have a happy ending since I'm a very childish person I will imagine they do reunite in heaven or in a different life and they have their happy ending... I wrote to much I'ts just I can't move on from this novel jet (even do I just read it last night, I will definitely reread this novel again and again in the future)

just like what gao fei said. This is a story about he yujin and him. Just a story about them.

For starters, the MC is an inherently kind but also extremely naive girl who has the misfortune of coming from a rich family. And yes, you read that right, misfortune. Because she has lived such a pampered life, the MC has a somewhat detestable character trait of being relentless in getting what she wants. When she first meets the ML and falls in love with him, she does everything in her power to get him -- to the point where her father even kidnaps the ML's parents to get him to marry her. This, to put it lightly, is pretty despicable and is blackmail at best. In any other story, I would have hated her.

But the MC is also aware of her despicable actions. She is so understanding that what she has done is unforgivable, to the point where she is able to tolerate (even welcome, in some cases) the ML's neglect and loathing because she thinks she deserves it. Is the MC right? Part of me wants to say yes -- because of her interference, the ML's parents had to suffer through that ordeal, she caused him to break up with his girlfriend, and she was essentially forcing someone who doesn't love her to marry her. She needs some kind of punishment for that, doesn't she?

Only, it's not that simple. If someone steals a dollar from you, then to balance out the injustice they can just give a dollar back. You can't measure retribution for emotional trauma or for wrecking someone's life. Because MC does, in fact, suffer tremendously in her marriage with the ML. She leaves the luxuries of her old life and waits on the ML night and day. When he is cruel to her, and my lord does he say some of the cruelest things, she accepts them with apologies and "I love you"s to spare. She endures his implied unfaithfulness, the rejection of anything related to her, his disgust at her very existence. We also later figure out that the MC has a terminal illness that will take her life and causes her much pain. Her father, her last family member in the world, dies as well.

Isn't this enough karma for what she has done to him? I most certainly think so.

Another reason why I don't hate her (even though I feel like I should) is that she just loved the ML so much. The scene where she starts to prepare his birthday dinner early in the day only to become paralyzed because of her illness was my first indication that she was just a hopeless, miserable fool in love. She had the chance to stop the pain. Her phone was right there -- she could have called him and asked the ML to deliver the medicine to suppress her illness. Only, she didn't. Why? Because she didn't want to ruin the birthday surprise, and probably in part because she didn't want to inconvenience him/ruin his mood with her presence.