Do I think MC deserves Yan Ze? No

Do I thing Yan Ze deserves MC? Also no

They have so wildly different ways of seeing life but also so common between them, specially since the MC has lived 8+ more than Yan Ze. Honestly, I felt like MC decided to become boyfriends with Yan Ze out of convenience (even tho it was the hardest way) since choosing not to was gonna make Yan Ze become a killer or a suicidal; I don't understand how Yan Ze fell in love with MC, he never did something straight out kind or caring to him, all he did was the simples of acts and the common thing to do, even the MC admits this, and it happened like 3 times:

1. Him getting into fights with the gang who were picking on Yan Ze, not out of his heart but because he was forced into doing so.

2. Helping Yan Ze to get water in the dark

3. Calming Yan Ze when a shutdown happen

Three simple things, and when the third one happens, Yan Ze was already madly in love with MC, and you can argue that people can fall in love deeply without any reason but the novel specifies that neither Xu Hao or Yan Ze are gay, so or Yan Ze was already gay or plot armor exists.

Then, they get together byt Xu Hao doesn't really takes seriously the relation ship even tho the novel really tries to convice you he does, in all of their relationship is Yan Ze the one doing the effort into it and Xu Hao slowly getting used to the relationship. In all of the novel Xu Hao never gifts anything to Yan Ze (he gifts him the Ferrari Yan Ze changed for his math notebook), never makes time to him, never invites him to dinner nor ask to meet his friends, hes not interested on knowing the life on Yan Ze or to understand his traumas, until he suddenly does, I mean, he's forced into caring since when he goes into the dead 3 minutes thing he discovers how Yan Ze lived after his death on the first life and gets more guilty or sad over Yan Ze. The only thing Xu Hao did for Yan Ze was talk to Yan Ze's grand father to convice him to free Yan Ze from the hypnosis therapy, but it was a win-win conversation, Shao was already givind up on making Yan Ze forget about Xu Hao since Yan Ze did all the hard work to make Shao no have any power to tried to ruin his relationship, the hypnosis was a solution for the BAD mental condition Yan Ze had and if he didn't end it and let Yan Ze return with Xu Hao he knew that Yan Ze was going to become more extreme, it was a battle already lost, Xu Hao had the superior hand in that issue.

Xu Hao never dismissed anything to favor Yan Ze, he never lost. In the first life I undertand why Xu Hao decided to be away from Yan Ze, what he did was unforgivable and thats why I agreed when Xu Hao wanted to stay away from Yan Ze in High School, but then it started to not make sense, if you dont want to stay near him, why always help him? Why giving him hope?

I felt very emphatic to some things Yan Ze said during the novel, like when he answer to Xu Hao when he said to him "to keep living for him and not for the death", he answered "Death one are not the ones living and suffering the lost, they are not the ones holding the weight, let me suffer"

Xu Hao never answer with true when Yan Ze ask him if he has loved other person in the past, or when Yan Ze ask him if he would love him if it wasn't for that person in the past and Xu Hao does not answer, he ask Yan Ze for time, but Xu Hao always ask for time and Yan Ze only has to wait.

Yan Ze obviously has problems too, hes a unstable man with a lot of traumas, his love is too possesive and demanding, things that Xu Hao finds tiresome to deal with. He choose to be in a relationship with Yan Ze, but when Yan Ze becomes jealous or demanding, Xu Hao feels tired, when Yan Ze keeps asking, Xu Hao stays away and lies, Xu Hao says he is saying the true but he can't make eye contac with Yan Ze... I mean, we understand because we know the whole story, Yan Ze don't.

When they start the relationship, nothing romantic happens and when it does happens is happens so suddenly that makes no sense, so when the climax of the story starts and end, it doesn't feel as sad or intense as you would feel if it was shown how much Xu Hao loved Yan Ze before.

Its all interpretation, I may he more heavy on Xu Hao just because how I feel about him, but tbh he didn't do anything bad either, he's human and hes not perfect, he has a lot of good qualities, hes very hardworking and knows very well how to handle Yan Ze the majority of the time, I really like how he was always calm and rational even when he was at a boiling point.