Man, the part where he was dying and the narration said that typically people would call for the god they believed in at that time, but Xiao Rong only called 'Qu Yunmie' repeatedly, is really... 😭🤌

Especially after they confessed to each other and wanted to marry 🤣 the court was wondering whether they would have a good emperor (Qu Yunmie) with an evil queen who seduced the emperor and bring the new dynasty down with his poisonous beauty (Xiao Rong), or that the good emperor was actually Xiao Rong (bc he's the one who's good at governing) and Qu Yunmie was the evil queen (bc he's the one doing whatever he wanted). But in the end they have to accept the possibility that it's actually two evil queens 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I also genuinely think MC's fear of not being able to answer ML feelings is real, because for one ML is going to be the emperor and we can't know how people can change once they get that power, secondly MC was put in this situation against his will which not only displaced him into ancient era with no financial or life security, he was also robbed of his identity and freedom. MC also shows a lot of PTSD symptoms after experiencing so many near-death events, so I think it's completely understandable for him to take some time off from everyone and everything to figure out who he is and find inner peace for the challenges he is going to face! Don't forget that now he is not only going to be minister but also empress, which is a whole different level of responsibility. So his hysteria is valid, and I don't think he is overreacting

After rereading this novel, I have a much better understanding of Xiao Rong's character. I think the author really portrays his struggle with having control and his power dynamic with ML in such a powerful yet nuanced way that it can be overlooked sometimes. From the start, we are given titbits of Xiao Rong's life, and we come to know that his parents are divorced but still maintain a good relationship with each other and Xiao Rong. Just that they are not too involved in his life or he is in theirs, this is the same with his extended family, they have an amicable relationship and provide him with ample financial security. This sets a tone that Xiao Rong is secure financially and is also provided with the freedom to do what he wants in life without being burdened by family expectations or disagreement. The same can be said for his social circle; he has amicable relations with his peers, and his supposed lack of close friendships may be attributed to losing his best friend early in his life. Overall, we can say he has absolute freedom and control over his life, but this freedom and control are taken away the moment he is transmigrated and tied to a single person. Now he is constantly haunted by his impending doom, his vitality and health are held hostage daily in the name of fulfilling his mission. Any person in this situation will grow resentful towards that person, in this case, the ML, even though he is not to blame. In the beginning, we even see Xiao Rong not doing anything particular after he transmigrates for 1 or 2 years? This can be seen as him trying to regain that control but failing to do so, and being forced to take action. From the beginning, Xiao Rong has lost control and freedom that he had his entire life and is set to be doomed by the narrative at play. So when he is finally free, we see him being listless and only thinking of going far from ML and regaining his freedom. At that point, I think he not only wants to regain that control over his life but also to see if he will choose ML and stay by his side if he regains that control. The final argument before he leaves is heartbreaking, but I think is the most beautiful scene that captures their dynamics as a whole. Xiao Rong and Qu Yunmei are similar in many of their habits and temperament, which gives them their common ground to understand each other, but they are also understandably different in their ideologies. Qu Yunmei can not understand Xiao Rong's point of view at the end, so he in return argues his point, but what makes Qu Yunmei take a step back is when he sees the heartbreak, sadness and helplessness in Xiao Rong, he may not understand Xiao Rong's thoughts, but he does understand his feelings, and this allows Qu Yunmei to let Xiao Rong go and also gives Xiao Rong an oppertunity to regain the control of his life that he lost. I think this is exactly the reason Xiao Rong comes back to Qu Yunmei and decides to stay by his side. Throughout the story, we see Xiao Rong's struggle with control, but what we may miss is that Qu Yunmei is subtly yet slowly trying to give back the control Xiao Rong has lost to him; this is very much done unintentionally on Qu Yunmei's part, but he makes Xiao Rong his equally in all ways possible. This is what makes their relationship so flawed, but beautifully, they may have arguments on their ideas in the future as well, but as long as they empathise and understand each other's feelings, they are meant to be together.