What actually let me down is the fact that prior to the penetrative s*x everything was so good, I actually felt a bit like a voyeur and my heart was really racing in the previous ambiguous scenes which were filled with such love and yearning, but then when we got to the penetrative s*x it was a betrayal of everything prior, the callousness, the lack of consideration, the lack of care, the lack of love it was just selfishness which is so opposite to everything before that I got such a whiplash from it. I couldn't believe that such a huge change in tone and quality was actually happening. I do not mind the first crossing of lines being driven by aphrodisiac, as I think nothing else would get those two blockheads to confess, and it was even, in every way, more satisfying than what happened after. I also really hate the whole, ''bottoming is beneath me and an affront to even ask me to bottom for you'' sort of mindset and it only lowers the quality of the work whenever it appears. There were so many other ways to go about it which would also be more in line with the characters so I really have to wonder why the author even went with that, because they are so capable in writing the atmosphere and making your heart race which they showed off in prior instances, so it's really baffling that this is what happens when the mains go at it?? It is 100% r*pe and non con so the r*pe tag is there for reasons other than side characters experiencing it which is what I find to be a let down. It is not the only thing, as I find the fact that in the end Xiahouo Lian went and did everything the abbot planned for incredibly annoying. I really did not want his wish to be granted, but at least he was betrayed by the person he considered closest to him.

the biggest blow to me was that, the moment of realization that actually shen jiu is the topppp nooo for f*ck sake I nearly slap myself several times in chapter 104 whyyyyy I mean shouldn't have xiohou been the top why they have been switched *wailing*

The MC/Shou is from an assassin village called Garan. At the beginning of the story, he entered the ML/Gong's house as a servant.

But he really doesn't act like a servant lol. He bickers with the ML and all.

So bit of a background, MC thinks that he's in ML's house for an assassination mission. But really, I just think that his mom and his uncle is busy with a mission so they kinda just stuffed him there so that he wouldn't cause any trouble cause there's no one that would look after him lol

Meanwhile, ML is an unfavored son. He gets bullied by his brother and the people in the Xie family doesn't really care about him except for his maids.

The ML really likes studying (although he isn't allowed to study and his brother even catches him reading old books and his brother tore those books, notes and even made him chew or eat some paper). When MC arrives in ML's house, he sees this and he also sees ML's insistence on trying to glue those broken books.

Soooo MC tells ML that they can just steal books from the library and so on. ML doesn't want to at first but MC kinda taunts him and he eventually agrees.

It was kinda sweet too when MC used the money he had on him to buy papers and brushes for ML (MC only have broken brushes and toilet paper to write on).

But ML doesn't use those because he thought that MC stole those things (because MC is just a servant and he shouldn't be able to buy those things) so he just kept all those under his cabinet.

And then the story goes on

Then, MC overhears from someone that a known scholar is coming to the Xie home and this scholar will accept a disciple. He encourages ML to try to be that person's disciple.

Unfortunately, on the day of the event, the madam asks for ML's courtyard to be locked! But, ML and MC thought to climbed the window and even get on a boat to go to the place where the scholar is.

Eventually, ML becomes that scholar's disciple and the story goes on

(There's still some minor stuff happening like ML still getting bullied and MC helping him, them suffering together etc. But I'll skip those and just focus on the main points or what I can remember)

Some points worth noting are:

• • MC is from an assassin village but most of his elders think that he isn't suitable for being an assassin because he is a good person and he doesn't have killing intent

• • They are kinda 12-13 years old in this arc

• • MC would tell ML stories about him, the village and his mother (who is the strongest assassin). Although, the MC will say that they are a family of thieves instead of assassins.

• • Eventually, ML finds out that the MC is from a family of assassin because of his master (the scholar). Turns out that years ago, the scholar was supposed to be killed by MC's mother but she doesn't kill him in exchange for a favor. And that favor is that he chooses a good name for MC (the MC's mother is illiterate I think so she wanted the scholar to think of a good name)

• • MC went to Xie family knowing that there will be an assassination plan but he doesn't know who will be assassinated. He thinks it's ML's father and he kinda hints that to ML. ML says that he doesn't care since his father is a s*um anyway

• • BTW when the ML saw his father during the time that the scholar was choosing a disciple, the father actually asked ML who's side family he is from or who his parents are
    he totally forgot about him having ML

Then, the time came that MC's uncle fetch him. So ML and MC says goodbye to each other.

MC overhears that there has been a change in the assassination plan. Instead of just the ML's father being assassinated, the one who commissioned the Garan Village assassins (Wei de) now wants the whole Xie family exterminated.

That's because the ML's father supported the impeachment of Wei de actually made the whole family (except ML's courtyard) memorize the impeachment document I think. So Wei de is very angry and wants the whole family exterminated.

Btw, Wei is kinda a powerful figure. He's a eunuch and he holds a lot of power because he has a good relationship with the emperor from when they were still young I think.

Okay so

MC heard that and he convinces his uncle to bring him to the Xie family during the assassination time (he convinces him saying that when he sees the assassination, he will really get a feel of what's it like to be an assassin and make a decision whether he wants to be an assassin or not)

Some notes about MC and his village:

• • MC's elders doesn't really want him to be an assassin. But, for people of Garan Village, they only have two choices: to be an assassin or to work on Garan Village. But those who chose not to be an assassin, can never leave the village anymore.

• • Garan Village is headed by an Abbot (he turns out to be MC's father but the abbot and his mother doesn't seem to be in a relationship. I'm not sure yet what happened between them though cause I'm not there yet in the story.

• • The people of Garan Village (especially the assassins) really have no choice but to obey the Abbot because they have the 'Mid July' poison their bodies and it's only the Abbot that has the medicine.

Okay, back to the story.

The assassins and MC goes to the Xie family. MC finds ML and kinda forces him to wear his clothes ('forces' because ML is so confusing and there is also the part where ML wants to save his maid, the elderly maid that brought him up but MC says that he can only save ML.

MC tells ML to walk straight ahead and out of the Xie house. If someone talks to him, don't answer and just go.

ML is almost caught but one of MC's good elders (Qiu Ye?) pretend that its MC and just says to the other assassin that maybe 'MC' is just scared that's why he isn't talking and that's why he's going out of that place even though the assassination isn't finished yet.

Unfortunately, the MC is caught. One of the assassins figured out that MC gave his clothes to someone so that person can escape.

The other assassins actually wanted to kill MC right then but some of the good elders (Uncle Duan and Qiu Ye) stopped them.

But ultimately, what made those other assassins stop is MC's mom (who just returned from a mission, she was even still holding a head or something). MC's mom told him that how knows what he had done and that he has two choices: to go back to the village and be punished orrr MC's mom will kill all the assassins present at that time and their mom-son duo would run away lol

Hahaha MC's mom is so cool!

Anyway, the other assassins get scared. MC chose to return to the village where he is punished 80 flogs (although he only lasted until the 30th and his mom took the other 50 flogs for him)

Next, we see that ML successfully run away from the Xie house but he doesn't have anywhere to go. He doesn't have friends and he cannot go to his shifu because his shifu will be implicated.

MC actually gave the ML two gold earrings before they parted so that ML can pawn it off but ML got scammed at the pawn shop.

ML had nowhere to go, none to eat and he was really miserable at this point. He resorted to stealing sometimes because of his hunger and often, he'll get beaten up.

Then, the ML remembered that MC ones told him way back that if he goes to the highest point of the city and places a coin there, MC will appear before ML.

However, its not MC that appears but another assassin (Qiu Ye) who actually noticed ML escaping the Xie mansion before but he just let him go. Qiu Ye tells ML that MC was punished and he doesn't even know if he's still alive.

He also tells ML to stop trying to contact MC this way because other assassins from Garan Village might see him instead and kill him (because he's still part of the Xie family) and Qiu Ye tells ML to go to the capital because he is less likely to starve there because there are nobles there who have feeding programs.

So ML goes to the capital. Unfortunately, he trusted an old beggar that gave him food. This beggar sold him to the palace so he became a eunuch.

Two or three years have passed and the ML/MC are now 14 years olds.

ML is now a eunuch of the cold palace. He kinda have some powers but only little.

There's also this other eunuch who fancies ML and wants to have s*x with ML. ML is disgusted with this eunuch.

This eunuch even peeps at ML while ML was changing and this eunuch actually discovers that ML didn't have his d*ck cut off like them (I think, it was implied but nit really stated).

So this eunuch blackmails the ML to being with him but of course the ML doesn't want that. ML ends up killing the eunuch.

While ML was disposing of the body in the well, he noticed a black clothed person 'sleeping' near. ML was going to disposed of this person too when the black clothed person opened his eyes and called out "young master!"

It turns out to be the MC. However, the MC is currently on a mission and he got wounded severely on his shoulder.

The ML helps the MC and MC hid in the dead eunuch's place. MC actually learned to change his face and he changes his face to that of the dead eunuch and pretends to be him.

ML requested to MC that MC stays with ML from now on in the palace. MC agreed.

So the story goes on

ML gets chosen to be a eunuch serving during the Emperor's hunting event. He serves Wei de by guiding Wei de's horse (the head eunuch who ML really hates because Wei had the Xie family exterminated. The horse suddenly topples over and ML caught Wei. Then, another horse was running and going to crush Wei and Wei suddenly made ML his shield.

Fortunately, a soldier hits the horse with an arrow. However, this caused the horse to topple and the crown prince gets thrown off (and becomes crippled). This caused the soldier to be sent out of the capital.

Then

ML finds that the MC is sick. Turns out it's the MC's poison acting out.

ML hurries to find MC's mother (who he once saw in the palace but he didn't tell MC because he wanted MC to stay and not leave him). Turns out that MC's mom is actually pretending to be one of the consorts in the cold palace.

She gave MC the medicine but will also take MC away and go back to the mountain because they can't escape the village because of the poison.

Before leaving, ML and the mother had a talk. ML made a bet to MC's mother that within 10 years, ML will find a way to find the cure to the poison and free MC from the village

Then the story goes on

Oops ran out of time

Remembering and typing all those above took me about an hour already lol gotta get back to what I'm doing

Will write the next spoilers when I have time :)

To continue reading? No. A great story but a bit too much plot heavy for my liking. Plus at chap 100 they're still not together