Honestly, from MC's POV, he feels like he is not paying attention to ML enough. For example, when ML feel sick and all, MC only ask, and when ML said he doesnt want to go to hospital, or just brushing it off by typical "It's alright", he just give up, and only try his best to make ML comfortable and cure him at home. Sometimes, he also forgot what ML wants to do, because when they talked about that, MC is in the middle of doing something. So MC forget, and thought ML just talking, not really wanting. But in reality, MC thinks that ML actually want to. But IN MY OPINION (once again, as a reader), ML is simply talking.

Then I got my answer, I am right at some point, that is just ML's personality. He is timid and have low expectation. So when he talks about something, and MC makes mistake for not remembering it, he just let it go and not pursuing it again.

Talking about MC not paying enough attention, it is just guilt tripping himself honestly. The ML was so damn stubborn that he will never told MC what he thinks. He will hide his pain thoroughly and huddled up in the darkness. MC always try to reach him, but he always got rejected, only seeing his lonely back in the night.

So, imo again, that is not MC fault. Simply put, ML already too depressed and MC just want to make ML comfortable, makes him healthy, makes him happy. In my view as a reader, what MC do is enough. ML already decide that, no matter what. MC just.... can not retain him anymore.

When the scene ML STILL want to leave MC, I was so angry and annoyed honestly. When you die, how about MC? When people are being left in the world by their loved ones, how does ones feel? Doesn't ML know that feeling best? Why.... he also doing that, to the who he loves?

I really hope ML can regain his 1st life memories and become so guilty to MC, but MC already so tired trying to keep ML's having a good mental health, so now, he choose to die by himself, thinking, so this is how ML feel when he fell from the building? Freedom?

I VERY MUCH want to let ML feel how does it feels, to try so hard, to make your lovers, stay with you. Then failed, and watch him, throw his body off into the abyss,

Smiling.

Shen baoshan loved him more than his own life, which is true but li chishu's had already become a broken vessel at that point. No matter how much love was poured, he couldn't contain it. That's how depression is. When you realize, it's too late.