Case in point, there is a remarkably emotional scene in later part of the story, where we witness the harrowing moment of MC making a decision to put himself to rest by looking at what is left of his corpse. His anger and the joint grief of both him and ML are raw and difficult to read, but in the process he does confront a fear that would be difficult for majority of people. Meanwhile, in the next few chapters we have a third-rate generic drama because ML's sister is a mean girl and a shield for her villainous husband who gets away with everything, and I kid you not, I felt like I have read that mean girl scene in every second BL. Okay, sister is a spoiled homophobic brat, big surprise.

(h*mophobia, family ab*se, ML lying AGAIN).

To be completely honest, I do believe Yan Mingxiu was kinda really wronged here, he's definitely a redeemable ML, ZhouXiang just suddenly died, which stopped their story so suddenly, this can be a totally normal angst novel, no need for the transmigration to another body, cause almost all the things are the same about ZhouXiang, he just looked better I guess? And had a mother, and had a trauma (which wasn't given much importance, gurl, he should at least be a bit afraid of heights with how he explained how he died, he wasn't at peace when he died, he was really scared then), it was realistic when he transmigrated, he took the time to get used to his body and not just magically adjusted to his new identity. Yan MingSu should have been the ML, JUST KIDDING HAAHHAH, he's just cool.

This might be the first novel I chose for the angst? And I have to say, , it wasn't much, hehe, I expected more. It was really just wrong timing, and bad luck. The hear wrenching scenes were compiled on the end scenes of the flashback and the beginning of the new life, but I don't really feel that much angst in the new life cause, we know YMX's POV, and we know it was literally all a bad trick.

Also, I always kept in mind that YMX was 20 years old at that time and ZX was 30 yrs old. I think YMX was too young and he was focusing on the wrong thing. I really feel bad for him, and also the fact that it only all happened for 1 year. Totally unnecessary death of ZX, I also feel real bad for him, it's like, his first break down got him killed lol, cause he kept on saying the his life was good before YMX, so imagine having a problem and distancing for a while and then it got you killed 💀. Seriously, their relationship felt like a joke to someone from above. I'm happy they got their second chance (which again, second life wasn't really that needed), also grateful fo Cai Wei, literally such a good friend. Lan XiRong probably just looked a bit bad than YMX. Lol to be completely honest again, I feel YMX's love for ZX more, than the other way around, although it's probably cause those feelings fermented for 3 yrs, lol. ANW, it is good, but could be better/sadder

1. 1. ML used MC as a substitute to the Male Cannon Fodder ML liked in the start, thinking that MC and male CF have same back proportions. ML used MC to vent his s*xual frustrations and urges. Not to the point it became abusive though.

1. 1. They kind of hit it off being lowkey "s*x friends" and they mutually consented that they should not interfere with each other's lives and personal social matters.

1. 1. MC fell in love with ML that he even pursued him. ML did not literally answered him with a clear answer but somewhat consented to it because he though that being with MC with that situation was fine as MC is attending to his needs and he even said that MC has a good temperament and felt comfortable with him. ML's expressions and way of communication in this parts (before MC's rebirth)
      of the novel was kind of awkward and too overbearing. He was so selfish and immature to his and other's feelings. He basically controls MC's social life and being overly jealous to MC's past relationships to the point of being unreasonable considering him and MC's current relationship - basically ML misunderstanding some events on his own and blows his anger to MC on his own.

1. 1. MC accidentally heard drunk ML saying male CF's name intimately then BOOM this was the main trigger for ML and MC's problem.

1. 1. Because of some events, MC died then rebirth again into another body that has similar proportions to his past body and male CF's.

1. 1. The next events are just full of rollercoaster of puss and pull of emotions from both the characters...

1. 1. Ironic as it is, in MC's rebirth, he also became a substitute..... not male CF but with his past self because ML's feelings for him (old MC).
      
      [collapse]

While I disliked the ML for a while, I also felt sorry for him. Fate really did him a big bad one, and the one he treated as a substitute was actually the one he loved all along, but he was too immature and impulsive and stuck in his ways to realize it. The day he finally came to terms with it, ready to turn over a new leaf, was the day he lost his love. Of course, that's his just dessert; treating the MC like shit, taking him for granted, immaturity can be one part of the blame, but the other was his selfishness and his arrogance. He didn't know what he wanted and took extreme measures in terms of possessiveness, not reacting rationally nor thinking as such.

I mean, while this isn't always the case for me, I really think the ML earned his redemption. My bottom line is cheating bastards, and at least he wasn't a cheating bastard. Plus, the ML did go through immense pain and had to work hard to regain the MC's affections, or rather, dispel his disillusionment (cos MC still loved him, just wasn't willing to go through the pain again). And he did. The immense pain the ML had to go through for 3 years, to wake up crying in the middle of the night, to starve oneself and all that, it's quite punishing. Half of why I find the ML endearing, though not really because the only reason I don't hate him is that he suffered so much in due punishment.